diff --git a/xwords4/relay/Makefile b/xwords4/relay/Makefile
index 06fc29fa8..82cfaeae5 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/Makefile
+++ b/xwords4/relay/Makefile
@@ -67,6 +67,7 @@ endif
 
 # turn on semaphore debugging
 # CPPFLAGS += -DDEBUG_LOCKS
+# CPPFLAGS += -DLOG_POLL
 
 memdebug all: xwrelay rq
 
diff --git a/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.cpp b/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.cpp
index ead4105ca..546b828e6 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.cpp
+++ b/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.cpp
@@ -20,13 +20,16 @@
  */
 
 #include <assert.h>
+#include <errno.h>
 #include <string.h>
 #include <time.h>
+#include <unistd.h>
 
 #include "addrinfo.h"
 #include "xwrelay_priv.h"
 #include "tpool.h"
 #include "udpager.h"
+#include "mlock.h"
 
 // static uint32_t s_prevCreated = 0L;
 
@@ -82,3 +85,40 @@ AddrInfo::equals( const AddrInfo& other ) const
     return equal;
 }
 
+static pthread_mutex_t s_refMutex = PTHREAD_MUTEX_INITIALIZER;
+static map<int, int > s_socketRefs;
+
+void AddrInfo::ref() const
+{
+    // logf( XW_LOGVERBOSE0, "%s(socket=%d)", __func__, m_socket );
+    MutexLock ml( &s_refMutex );
+    ++s_socketRefs[m_socket];
+    printRefMap();
+}
+
+void
+AddrInfo::unref() const
+{
+    // logf( XW_LOGVERBOSE0, "%s(socket=%d)", __func__, m_socket );
+
+    MutexLock ml( &s_refMutex );
+    assert( s_socketRefs[m_socket] > 0 );
+    --s_socketRefs[m_socket];
+    if ( s_socketRefs[m_socket] == 0 ) {
+        XWThreadPool::GetTPool()->CloseSocket( this );
+    }
+    printRefMap();
+}
+
+/* private, and assumes have mutex */
+void
+AddrInfo::printRefMap() const
+{
+    /* for ( map<int,int>::const_iterator iter = s_socketRefs.begin(); */
+    /*       iter != s_socketRefs.end(); ++iter ) { */
+    /*     int count = iter->second; */
+    /*     if ( count > 0 ) { */
+    /*         logf( XW_LOGVERBOSE0, "socket: %d; count: %d", iter->first, count ); */
+    /*     } */
+    /* } */
+}
diff --git a/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.h b/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.h
index d92e70a1b..94b04a816 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.h
+++ b/xwords4/relay/addrinfo.h
@@ -81,12 +81,18 @@ class AddrInfo {
 
     bool equals( const AddrInfo& other ) const;
 
+    /* refcount the underlying socket (doesn't modify instance) */
+    void ref() const;
+    void unref() const;
+    int getref() const;
+
  private:
     void construct( int sock, const AddrUnion* saddr, bool isTCP );
     void init( int sock, ClientToken clientToken, const AddrUnion* saddr ) {
         construct( sock, saddr, false );
         m_clientToken = clientToken;
     }
+    void printRefMap() const;
 
     // AddrInfo& operator=(const AddrInfo&);      // Prevent assignment
     int m_socket;
diff --git a/xwords4/relay/tpool.cpp b/xwords4/relay/tpool.cpp
index 804be3de5..3ea401022 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/tpool.cpp
+++ b/xwords4/relay/tpool.cpp
@@ -119,6 +119,7 @@ XWThreadPool::Stop()
 void
 XWThreadPool::AddSocket( SockType stype, QueueCallback proc, const AddrInfo* from )
 {
+    from->ref();
     int sock = from->getSocket();
     logf( XW_LOGVERBOSE0, "%s(sock=%d, isTCP=%d)", __func__, sock, from->isTCP() );
     SockInfo si = { .m_type = stype,
@@ -174,7 +175,6 @@ XWThreadPool::RemoveSocket( const AddrInfo* addr )
 void
 XWThreadPool::CloseSocket( const AddrInfo* addr )
 {
-    int sock = addr->getSocket();
     if ( addr->isTCP() ) {
         if ( !RemoveSocket( addr ) ) {
             MutexLock ml( &m_queueMutex );
@@ -187,6 +187,7 @@ XWThreadPool::CloseSocket( const AddrInfo* addr )
                 ++iter;
             }
         }
+        int sock = addr->getSocket();
         int err = close( sock );
         if ( 0 != err ) {
             logf( XW_LOGERROR, "%s(): close(socket=%d) => %d/%s", __func__,
@@ -284,7 +285,7 @@ XWThreadPool::real_tpool_main( ThreadInfo* tip )
             case Q_KILL:
                 logf( XW_LOGINFO, "worker thread got socket %d from queue (to close it)", sock );
                 (*m_kFunc)( &pr.m_info.m_addr );
-                CloseSocket( &pr.m_info.m_addr );
+                pr.m_info.m_addr.unref();
                 break;
             }
         } else {
diff --git a/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.cpp b/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.cpp
index 6ffab296e..bb59a0892 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.cpp
+++ b/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.cpp
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ PartialPacket::readAtMost( int len )
             logf( XW_LOGERROR, "%s(len=%d, socket=%d): recv failed: %d (%s)", __func__, 
                   len, m_sock, m_errno, strerror(m_errno) );
         }
-    } else if ( 0 == nRead ) {  // remote socket closed
+    } else if ( 0 == nRead ) {  // remote socket half-closed
         logf( XW_LOGINFO, "%s(): remote closed (socket=%d)", __func__, m_sock );
         m_errno = -1;           // so stillGood will fail
     } else {
@@ -160,11 +160,12 @@ void
 UdpQueue::handle( const AddrInfo* addr, const uint8_t* buf, int len, 
                   QueueCallback cb )
 {
+    // addr->ref();
     PacketThreadClosure* ptc = new PacketThreadClosure( addr, buf, len, cb );
     MutexLock ml( &m_queueMutex );
     int id = ++m_nextID;
     ptc->setID( id );
-    logf( XW_LOGINFO, "%s: enqueuing packet %d (socket %d, len %d)", 
+    logf( XW_LOGINFO, "%s(): enqueuing packet %d (socket %d, len %d)",
           __func__, id, addr->getSocket(), len );
     m_queue.push_back( ptc );
 
@@ -223,6 +224,7 @@ UdpQueue::thread_main()
             logf( XW_LOGINFO, "%s: dropping packet %d; it's %d seconds old!", 
                   __func__, age );
         }
+        // ptc->addr()->unref();
         delete ptc;
     }
     return NULL;
diff --git a/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.h b/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.h
index 3926b3903..befa99893 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.h
+++ b/xwords4/relay/udpqueue.h
@@ -44,10 +44,14 @@ public:
         , m_cb(cb)
         , m_created(time( NULL ))
         { 
-            memcpy( m_buf, buf, len ); 
+            memcpy( m_buf, buf, len );
+            m_addr.ref();
         }
 
-    ~PacketThreadClosure() { delete[] m_buf; }
+    ~PacketThreadClosure() {
+        m_addr.unref();
+        delete[] m_buf;
+    }
 
     const uint8_t* buf() const { return m_buf; } 
     int len() const { return m_len; }
diff --git a/xwords4/relay/xwrelay.cpp b/xwords4/relay/xwrelay.cpp
index 7b2363541..e94fd7666 100644
--- a/xwords4/relay/xwrelay.cpp
+++ b/xwords4/relay/xwrelay.cpp
@@ -1490,7 +1490,7 @@ game_thread_proc( PacketThreadClosure* ptc )
 {
     logf( XW_LOGVERBOSE0, "%s()", __func__ );
     if ( !processMessage( ptc->buf(), ptc->len(), ptc->addr(), 0 ) ) {
-        XWThreadPool::GetTPool()->CloseSocket( ptc->addr() );
+        // XWThreadPool::GetTPool()->CloseSocket( ptc->addr() );
     }
 }