*

wiktopher.md

@@ -88,9 +88,9 @@ Mago was standing in front of the Volare town hall, an imposing edifice on the l
     Eyes wide, the child positioned both hands and lips in the same way, and tried again. Most Verido people could not speak it, but many liked to try. Only Voices had the training to carry words far. They could not vocalize like an Ilk, but for their size, they could produce the loudest sound in the desert.  
     "Do you really talk to the Ilk?" The child asked.  
     Mago smiled. "No. Not yet, but if I become Voice then yea, we'll talk everyday!"  
-    Do ..__ The child whistled, amazed at the thought of speaking with The Great Carrier.  
+    "Wow!" The child said, starry-eyed.  
     Volare villagers were setting up a small stage near the town hall onto which they would be playing music later. Mago loved the sounds of the donmol[^16] and the koutra. All children in Volare were raised with music at their lips and fingers.  
-    Lupen arrived to take Mago's side. "Well well! If it isn't the Tongue Wart of the Ilk!"  
+    Lupen arrived to take Mago's side. "Well, well! If it isn't the Tongue Wart of the Ilk!"  
     Mago grabbed Lupen's left ear, twisted, and pulled it. "Think that if I keep your ear like this for five days it'll shrivel up and fall off?"  
     "Ow! Ow! I'll tell everyone you tried to cripple me!"  
     "They'll think you did it to yourself! You *do* hurt yourself a lot." Mago said, twisting it harder.  
@@ -100,9 +100,9 @@ Mago was standing in front of the Volare town hall, an imposing edifice on the l
     "Oh, you know I totally could and would." Mago said, trying to reach for Lupen's ear again, but then stopped, noticing the scarf. "Levi's freaky scarf!"  
     "Long isn't freaky." Lupen protested.  
     "I love it. Coiled around like that, it makes it look like you have no neck. Why did Levi make it so long again?" Mago asked, grabbing the end of the long, long blue scarf, fingers stroking the neatly woven Isilk threads.   
-    Lupen shrugged. "Lev just kept adding lengths to it, saying I would need it long. Never really gave me a straight answer when I asked why. That was near the end anyway, one of many strange things Lev did. Though I can't imagine how long it would have been if I hadn't hidden those last bundles." After a long pause, Lupen spoke again. "How's Armyn doing?"  
+    Lupen shrugged. "Who knows. Lev just kept adding lengths to it, saying I would need it long. Never really gave me a straight answer when I asked why. That was near the end anyway, one of many strange things Lev did. Though I can't imagine how long it would have been if I hadn't hidden those last bundles." After a long pause, Lupen spoke again. "How's Armyn doing?"  
     Mago shrugged. "Mostly fine. Health has deteriorated fast this quarter though." Seven days ago, Armyn was able to walk, but now the shroo[^17] infection had moved into the lungs. "Hasn't gone up to The Ear in days."  
-    "Yea, it happens fast." Lupen put a hand to Mago's shoulder then, to offer comfort. "So, when's The Leap[^18]?" Both would be without mapas, but at least they had each other.  
+    "Yea, it happens fast." Lupen put a hand to Mago's shoulder then, to offer comfort. "So, when's The Leap[^18]?"    
     "Soon." Mago said.  
     "Well, I'll be there for Armyn, and for you." Lupen said, with a reassuring smile.  
     "Did you feed Henbi today?" Mago asked, but seeing Lupen's expression it was evident that Henbi had not been fed. "I ought to take it in, you're too forgetful to take care of smellydough[^19]. You can't keep abusing it like that you know?!" Mago said with a sigh. "I'm surprised you haven't killed it yet."  
@@ -114,16 +114,16 @@ Mago was standing in front of the Volare town hall, an imposing edifice on the l
 
 In Volare, there were no mansions or grand palaces. The town hall was an important, modest-sized building, its walls bore painted murals, images of the Ilk's travels as well as a depiction of their founder and great leader Volare. The table sitting the village's council members was covered with an embroidered isilk cloth, featuring stylized relief images of clouds and suns. The two now stood before 6 council members. Armyn was sitting on the far left, smiling and waving at them.  
     "Happy you could join us. Today, our Armyn, seventy'be annums old, is retiring after a lifetime of service," the appointed speaker from the council said aloud, smiling at the two Voice candidates.  
-    Armyn bowed. "I will miss being at The Ear, but my body is giving me clear signs that it's time to let someone else delight in this experience. I've learned much of the world through Vol. I've no doubt that the new Voice will do grand things. I have personally trained both, and am very, very proud of them." Armyn glanced at the two cousins fondly. "I will be preparing to Leap from Vol's snout five days from now, I will want to speak to each of you before I go. You, whom I love." Saying these last words, Armyn's open hand turned into a fist. "I will take this love with me to my death."  
+    Armyn bowed. "I will miss being at The Ear, but my body is giving me clear signs that it's time to let someone else delight in this experience. I've learned much of the world through Vol. I've no doubt that the new Voice will do grand things. I have personally trained both, and am very, very proud of them." Armyn glanced at the two cousins fondly. "I will be preparing to Leap from Vol's snout five days from now, I will want to speak to each of you before I go. You, whom I love." Saying these last words, Armyn's open hand turned into a fist. "I will carry this love with me."  
     "We will all bear witness to it, a Leap is a grand thing," the speaker said.  
-    Armyn smiled at this, as did Mago. Lupen remembered when Levi leapt off The Snout. Their friends all gathered to watch, but they remained at the base of The Neck since The Head was reserved for family. After Lev's Leap, Lupen was given a seed to sow in the town nursery.  
+    Armyn smiled at this, as did Mago. Lupen remembered when Levi leapt off The Snout. Their friends all gathered to watch, but they remained at the base of The Neck since The Head was reserved for family. After Levi's Leap, Lupen was given a seed to sow in the town nursery.  
     A musician began to play the donmol, an instrument with a flat back, triangular-shaped sound holes, four double strings, a long neck, and a raised fingerboard. The song was a re-telling of the history of this city and of its founders. Lupen favourite moment was whens the three founders, Otora, Balandri and Volare, first encountered the Ilks. The three giants were gathered at the foot of a mountain in the Central Rim, grazing on sweet grass. Volare stepped up first, sure-footed, bowing at Vol's hoof. The song was famous to the residents of Volare, but Lupen could listen to it again and again without tiring.  
     After playing a last note, the musician motioned for Lupen to continue the song in Ilken. To become Voice, the candidates always performed the last chorus on their own, as proof of their mastery of the language. Lupen did well enough, despite missing a few notes, while Mago's performance was pitch perfect. There were other tests, which included recitations and improvised verses, again, Mago triumphed while Lupen's lacked finesse.  
-    The last part of the ceremony consisted of a public reading of their full family tree by  Volare's appointed Pattern Reader[^21]. Every Verido's skin bore patterns, a series of lines and dots, etched in deep like the veins of a leaf.  
+    The last part of the ceremony consisted of a public reading of their full family tree by Volare's appointed Pattern Reader[^21]. Every Verido's skin bore patterns, a series of lines and dots, etched in deep like the veins of a leaf.  
     "Disrobe please," said the Reader, standing up and approaching Lupen first. The Reader was short, and had long wispy eyebrows, that tickled the young Verido's face. Mago caught this, and held back a laugh, a smile danced on both of their mouths. The Reader's finger followed the blue lines on Lupen's chest, racing down the arms and then down the back before ending on the face, muttering names and words in a hushed voice for some time. "Lupen, Levi, Laggra and Lunav. Direct descendants of Volare, same klorea[^22] coursing through your veins. Very good."  
     Then came Mago's turn, the Reader followed the patterns, mumbling. The set of wrinkled hands then touched a patch of rough skin. A burn. The Reader looked dismayed. "I can't read you." The finger lay on an old wound, carved there on Mago's backside. Armyn was distraught, recalling the event. Years ago, the Ilk stepped into a deep crevice. The violent motion made the city on the creature's back tremble. Armyn, a hot kettle in hand, lost control and the scalding liquid left a lasting mark on Mago.  
     "But you know my family! We've been at the Ilk's ear for three generations!" Mago explained, red-faced. "What does it matter if you can't read it? There's no denying where I come from."  
-    The other councillors shook their heads, disapprovingly. All present in the room knew the family yes, everyone in Volare did, but the councillors were superstitious, and tradition was tradition. Appointing someone with a muddy pattern, they said, would offend the Ilk and they couldn't risk it. At these words, Mago froze. These words shocked Lupen too. Armyn said nothing while the rest argued, they said the word 'muddy' often, each time hurting Mago further.  
+    The other councillors shook their heads, disapprovingly. All present in the room knew the family yes, everyone in Volare did, but the councillors were superstitious, and tradition was tradition. Appointing someone with a muddy pattern, they said, would offend the Ilk, and they couldn't risk it. At these words, Mago froze. These words shocked Lupen too. Armyn said nothing while the rest argued, they said the word 'muddy' often, each time hurting Mago further.  
     Then the council came to an agreement. The Reader spoke up, "Lupen," Mago's eyes fell to the floor, avoiding Armyn's gaze, "you will be the bridge between us and our Great Carrier Vol."  
     Both had undergone the same teachings, but there was never any doubt that Mago would get the role. Can I refuse to be Voice? Lupen wondered. No. Mago would never think of being Voice now, not after what they said. There was nothing to do. The festivities were already beginning. Someone was outside announcing the good news. As per tradition, a ceremonial wreath made of braided isilk hairs was placed on Lupen's head, along with the robe worn by all Voices. Lupen wasn't happy, and could sense the same in Armyn.  
     The Reader led Lupen outside to face the crowd, hands threw fistfuls of dried woodgeon berries in the air and all began to sing. Rosmus stood there, still in plain clothes, laughing, and waving a bottle of half-empty kabacho.  
@@ -140,7 +140,7 @@ presence at The Ear grant us many more annums on Vol's back," the Reader said, a
 
 The next morning, the festivities were over, Lupen descended, but once again, was forced into more activities and celebrations with the village people. All the while, Lupen thought of Mago, hoping to stop by the house. Lupen did go later that same day, but Armyn let no one inside.  
     Lupen gave up, and went to see Rosmus instead. The tall-haired Verido was busy grinding carapace shavings with a giant mortar and pestle. "How was it up there?" Roz asked.  
-    Lupen smiled. "Amazing. Could have stayed longer up there, but um...I'm not feeling too good. I'm worried about Mago."  
+    Lupen smiled. "Amazing. Could have stayed longer, but um...I'm not feeling too good. I'm worried about Mago."  
     "Mago needs time, that's all..."  
     "Did you know about the burn?"  
     Rosmus did not look at Lupen, and continued to pulverize some more shavings, "No. It's silly though isn't it? This whole thing? Muddy! What nonsense. Mago's lineage was clear as day." Rosmus mixed a handful of powder with the juice of a looma root, and began to massage it into shape. "Land-dwellers name themselves, did you know this? Pattern Reading, as it is now, has become a matter of superstition. Vol doesn't care about patterns or klorealines. We do. We rely on half-baked rituals because we are afraid." Rosmus said.  
@@ -157,11 +157,11 @@ Everyday Lupen climbed to The Ear, bringing a new joke to tell. This was a chall
     "That can't be what Mago wants."  
     "I don't like what you're implying," Armyn said, eyes narrowing down, "you can't come here everyday."  
     "I'm sorry, I know Mago ought to have been..." Lupen stopped, wincing at those last, unspoken words. "Please let me help."  
-    "A curse has befallen us!" Armyn pushed forward and whispered through closed teeth, "it's Vol, it meant for us to fail. Don't you see? It shook the ground, and made me harm my child! Oh! I will die with this pain in my flesh..."  
+    "A curse has befallen us!" Armyn pushed forward and whispered through closed teeth, "it's Vol, it meant for this to happen. Don't you see? It shook the ground, and made me harm my child! Oh! I will die with this pain in my flesh..."  
     Feeling sad, Lupen left. Evidently Armyn was not well, but Mago was likely worse. Was this the end of their friendship? They were family, Lupen couldn't stand the thought of losing them both, but insisting further at this point would only cause them more harm.  
 
-Every day Mago had dreams about pushing Lupen off Vol's head before waking up, feeling nauseous and guilty. Lupen was a friend, getting rid of this rage was more important than grieving. There was no telling how such thoughts could affect Mago's mind. Already there was an itch there, a dark sludgy patch that consumed up all the good thoughts. The only way to get rid of that feeling was to find Lupen and to apologize for disappearing. It was time to move on, there were plenty of things to do on the Ilk, in fact Lupen had hoped to become a Hand[^24] of the Ilk after the ceremony, like Levi.  
-    "That's right, I could be Hand," Mago thought. Levi wanted to be Voice, but after being denied the role, had adored being Hand. In fact, Levi's work had saved Vol from a major digestive system infection many annums ago, one that threatened the creature's digestive system. It was a worthy, important role.  
+Every day Mago had dreams about pushing Lupen off Vol's head before waking up, feeling nauseous and guilty. Lupen was a friend, getting rid of this rage was more important than grieving. There was no telling how such thoughts could affect Mago's mind. Already there was an itch there, a dark sludgy patch that consumed up all the good thoughts. The only way to get rid of that feeling was to find Lupen and to apologize for disappearing. It was time to move on, there were plenty of things to do on the Ilk, in fact Lupen had hoped to become a Hand[^24] of the Ilk, like Levi had been.  
+    "That's right, I could be Hand," Mago thought. Levi wanted to be Voice, but after being denied the role, had adored being Hand. In fact, Levi's work had saved Vol from a major digestive system infection many annums ago, one that threatened the creature's life. It was a worthy, important role.  
     Mago finally left the house but did not find Lupen home. A strong wind rushed inbetween the buildings, sounding like a long wailing cry. Mago gazed up at the Ilk's head, most of it already engulfed in a thick cloud of dust, and concluded that this is where Lupen was. During stormy weather, someone had to stay at The Head. If ever something bad happened, Vol would communicate it to The Voice, who in turn would translate the message, whistling it to the Hands who would attend to the problem.  
     That morning Lupen had communicated that a storm was coming, so people in the city closed their shutters and wrapped scarves around their faces. Once at The Nape of The Neck Mago tied one end of a braided isilk rope as a security line that ran along Vol's spine. Hands made use of these safety lines often.  
     And so began the long, arduous climb to the head. The wind increased, but this wasn't Mago's first climb in such conditions, and the safety line was enough. Mago used the thick hair on the Ilk's spine as handholds, and quickly arrived at the top.  
@@ -188,8 +188,7 @@ Every day Mago had dreams about pushing Lupen off Vol's head before waking up, f
 \newpage
 
     "Returning to the earth is good. There's no pain there. It's a return to normality. Yes! Normality. I remember being grown. I couldn't see or smell... but I could hear things. Singing? Someone was singing to me! Wow. I remember that..! Um. I wonder what else is rattling around in here? Can I remember life as a seed? Or life before that? Ah. No, I can't remember. There was only darkness. Darkness is scary. How can I know I exist without seeing or feeling anything? But wait, rocks exist, and they can't smell, see or feel... well at least I think they can't. Maybe that's what it was like to be a seed, and before I was even made into that, and before a rock was a rock. I felt nothing then, and after I die I will feel nothing. It'll be the same. That makes it okay doesn't it? Yea, it's okay. This is okay. I'm okay."  
-    A great dark mass met with Lupen's body, followed by a great wave of
-pain. And then, nothing.  
+    A great dark mass met with Lupen's body, followed by a great wave of pain. And then, nothing.  
 
 > The seed, the light, we sow, we sow.  
 > A leaf, a child, I grow, I grow,  
@@ -205,13 +204,12 @@ pain. And then, nothing.
 
     "It's time." The bones and muscles agreed, but the brain refused to give in. "No one is letting go!"  
     "But we're broken! It hurts!" The left arm and its corresponding muscles cried out in pain. Then, came a rush of adrenaline, the body and the mind stopped quarrelling and began to work together again.  
-    Lupen sat up, pushing off the ground with a groan. The Ilk was gone.  
-    Lupen's toes buoyed to the surface. "They're all gone. Everyone is gone." Lupen wanted to cry. "Why didn't I die from the fall? This is cruel, too, *too* cruel!"  
+    Lupen looked around, but the Ilk was gone.  
+    Lupen's toes buoyed to the sand's surface. "They're all gone. Everyone is gone." Lupen wanted to cry. "Why didn't I die from the fall? This is cruel, too, *too* cruel!"  
     With the two suns perched high above, without cover or water, it wouldn't take long for death to come. "What is the point of *this*!" The Verido cried out, angry at the desert, weeping at the thought of never seeing Volare again. No tears came, the body couldn't spare the moisture, the skin felt tight, as if pulled in different directions, crisp, broiled by the two suns. The scarf had disappeared in the fall and moving to search for it was out of the question.  
     I'm useless, Lupen thought. Then this mind became tired of thinking.  
 
-    Lupen woke again later to more pain, and more sorrowful thoughts. Although at this point, even the brain had too little energy and will to
-conjure up anything positive.  
+    Lupen woke again later to more pain, and more sorrowful thoughts. Although at this point, even the brain had too little energy and will to conjure up anything positive.  
 
 > A leaf, a child, I grow, I grow...
 
@@ -637,23 +635,18 @@ As the evening went on Nono began to tell sandfin stories, like the one about th
 down onto the table, landing near a puddle of spilled plumpkin ale. The woth began to mop it up, its antennae wiggling as it drank.  
     Nono pulled out a small wooden box, laid it out on the table and opened the lid. Six round eggs sat in it, laying over a soft tan blanket. "Woth egg," Nono told them, "Nono carry many." Nono's hand reached into the box and picked up an egg. "Dis woth egg ready, but woth only come out when eet find someone eet like. Woth ees loyal, eet follow you always." Nono reached over the table, grabbed Eka's hand, and placed a single woth egg in it. As soon as the egg came into contact with Eka's skin, the white egg turned sky blue.  
     "It's blue!" Eka said, amazed by the unborn woth.  
-    "Blue? Woth egg never blue," Nono said, looking very confused, "no no no
-matter! Put finger on egg. Do gentle, gentle stroke."  
+    "Blue? Woth egg never blue," Nono said, looking very confused, "no no no matter! Put finger on egg. Do gentle, gentle stroke."  
     Eka did as Nono instructed and put a finger on the egg, stroking it.  
     "Less stroke, good good woth!" Nono continued. The blue egg cracked open after only a single stroke. "Impossible."  
     Lupen and Eka watched as a new woth emerged from the egg. It had a blue body, covered in light blue hairs, it had long antennae, and even longer wings.  
     "Sakoi'di! Strong woth!" Nono said, shaking their head in disbelief.  
-    Eka knew many things, but knew little about woths, although this one did
-appear larger than Ponopo. Nono grabbed a measuring stick and jotted down every detail, the colour of its hairs, the length of the wings and of the antennae, the diameter of the eyes too. Everything. "Nono visit hatchery and ask question to friend. Friend know much about woth." Nono put the stick away, and continued to marvel at the quality of Eka's woth.  
+    Eka knew many things, but knew little about woths, although this one did appear larger than Ponopo. Nono grabbed a measuring stick and jotted down every detail, the colour of its hairs, the length of the wings and of the antennae, the diameter of the eyes too. Everything. "Nono visit hatchery and ask question to friend. Friend know much about woth." Nono put the stick away, and continued to marvel at the quality of Eka's woth.  
     "What should we name it?" Lupen asked Eka.  
-    "Ianae! You no choose name! Woth choose," Nono said, waving a finger at
-them, "ees no easy to guess da name!"  
-    "Yea, I mean, the name could be anything! How long did it take you to
-guess Ponopo's name?" Lupen asked.  
+    "Ianae! You no choose name! Woth choose," Nono said, waving a finger at them, "ees no easy to guess da name!"  
+    "Yea, I mean, the name could be anything! How long did it take you to guess Ponopo's name?" Lupen asked.  
     Nono took a long sip of plumpkin ale. "Five annums, but only after Nono take bad, bad herb. For Nono friend, ees long time. Eet take fourteen annums."  
     "Fourteen?!"  
-    "Orae, orae! Mu-mu-mu-mu-mumford. Woth stutter, make guess difficult,"
-Nono paused, "woth lissen wid or widout name, but name make connection strong strong! Some tink woth no choose name, da woth wait to hear name eet like."  
+    "Orae, orae! Mu-mu-mu-mu-mumford. Woth stutter, make guess difficult," Nono paused, "woth lissen wid or widout name, but name make connection strong strong! Some tink woth no choose name, da woth wait to hear name eet like."  
     Eka hoped it wouldn't take that long, a fourteen-annum long guessing game did not sound fun. "You've got an easy name, isn't that right Tom-tom?" A finger traced along the soft hairs on its back. The woth went about its business, and joined Ponopo on the table to get some of that sweet plumpkin juice.  
     "Tom-Tom?" Lupen said with a laugh, "it looks more like a Pino."
 
@@ -677,7 +670,7 @@ After an evening of unsuccessful name-guessing Eka and Lupen said goodbye to Non
     Lupen lent Eka a vest to wear, and together they cooked up a pot of bobonion soup. They ate it with some slices of toasted muckwheat bread. Then, they recited poems about the sweater-verse until they fell asleep.  
     Lupen did not dream of death, but dreamt of a world where everyone was made of fabric, their skin and clothes knitted together. Children made a game of unravelling each other's arms, while the adults scolded them. Lupen was in this dream, and there, hanging from the side of everyone's wrist was a thread, connecting Verido to Aodals, to Finikus, to Terins, to looma roots, to every grain of sand, and to skyrocks too. This thread bound all things, both known and unknown.    
 
-The next day, Lupen and Eka spent time with Bou. They had finished their tasks early, so Bou closed the store for the day and introduced them to some of the locals. They ate plenty of muckwheat bread, a local specialty. The bread was served with fermented sagery jam and thin slices of sun-dried totomites.  
+The next day, Lupen and Eka spent time with Bou. They had finished their tasks early, so Bou closed the store for the day and introduced them to some of the locals. They ate plenty of muckwheat bread, a local specialty. The bread was served with fermented sagery[^] jam and thin slices of sun-dried totomites[^].  
     One of Bou's friends had Vennec babies and insisted on showing them off. Vennecs were large, humpbacked, furry beasts with thin snouts, large pointy ears and a long slender neck. The vennec babies were asleep in a pile, it was hard to tell where one started and another ended. Soon, the babies were on their feet, and ran circles around them. Eka laughed, stroking their soft hairs. Lupen's face was buried in the fur of one of the larger cubs.  
     "Vennec too young now, but in one annum you come back. Vennec become strong,
 make good travel companion." The vennec grower said.  
@@ -746,14 +739,13 @@ It sat idly for many annums. It saw the suns and moons pass many times. It wasn'
     "Really? I thought they'd be bigger than this."  
     "They lose bits of themselves when they fall out of the sky."  
     "Oh. That's sad isn't it? Losing bits of yourself," Sky-sand said, looking at the rock from all angles.  
-    "You lose bits of yourself all the time too you know."  
-    "You mean like skin and hair and things?" Sky-sand said, trying to picture this body worn down to the size of a fist.  
+    "You lose bits of yourself all the time too, you know."  
+    "You mean like, skin and hair and things?" Sky-sand said, trying to picture this body worn down to the size of a fist.  
     "Does it makes you sad?" Sun asked.  
     "Not really. Um. I don't know why I said that." Sky-sand's fingers traced around the flat face of Skyrock then, "there's nothing sad about you Skyrock. You're the most experienced of us all, and too beautiful for this ball of dust."  
     Skyrock felt proud. It was in a most wonderful state. Time and weather had smoothed down its exterior. The two land dwellers were very impressed with this, and decided to transform its body again, in a very big way. Skyrock was ground down further, and shaped into two pendants, a string was tied to one end. Skyrock was now split in two, it hung around the necks of each land-dweller. It could see itself on the breast of the other, it was a most unusual sight. Skyrock relished in this new perspective.  
     How wondrous, it thought.  
-    Sky-sand and Sun returned to their fuzzy companion, and left the sea of
-broken shells behind.  
+    Sky-sand and Sun returned to their fuzzy companion, and left the sea of broken shells behind.  
 
 \newpage
 
@@ -2744,27 +2736,27 @@ Hespers are very rare, they bloom into existence every sixtyfour annums, but mos
 Vennecs are large, humpbacked, furry beasts with thin snouts, large pointy ears and a long slender neck. Their ears are big to better dissipate heat. They are often used to pull heavy carts, because they are very strong and can walk a long time without being hungry or thirsty. Vennec carry water in their humps and store grains in their cheeks.
 
 ### Hyroo
-Hyroos are large creatures with big rounded ears and strong hind legs, they have sand-coloured fur, with darker spots on their bodies. Their snouts are large, they can smell and hear things from far away. These beasts are known for being able to run and jump long distances with little effort, they grow in moist environments, although they are thought to be extinct.
+Hyroos are large creatures with big parabolic ears, and strong hind legs. They have sand-coloured fur, with darker spots on their bodies. Their snouts are large, they can smell and hear things from far, far away. These beasts are known for being able to run and jump long distances with little effort. They grow in moist environments, although they are thought to be extinct...
 
 [^23]:**Snakadil**. A type of small reptavian that moves just under the top layer of sand. When surprised, snakadil suffocate their victims.
 
 ### Seshell krab
-Seshell krabs are pearly white creatures that bear a shell with a face. It is thought that if you do them harm, they will remember your face and chase you to the ends of the deserts. They have a near indestructible shell, it is used to make pottery and other hard materials. The world used to be populated by many of these creatures, changes in weather have caused many to die, but the disintegrated shells have contributed to much goods in the land. The sheshell krab dust helped form a hard membrane around the pearled-up water, thusly preserving the water of the planet near the surface.
+Seshell krabs are pearly white creatures that bear a shell with a face. It is thought that if you do them harm, they will remember your face and chase you to the ends of the deserts. They have a near indestructible shell, it is used to make pottery and other hard materials. The world used to be populated by many of these creatures, changes in weather have caused many to die, but the disintegrated shells have contributed to much good in the land. The sheshell krab dust helped form a hard membrane around the pearled-up water, thusly preserving the water of the planet near the surface.
 
 ### Terin
-Terins are a race of growers and carers, they have green thumbs and can make any garden, and population healthy. Their numbers are fewer these days, given the Iridi raids in Bao's time. They have dark skin, bright eyes dark eye. They have larger foreams and fingers, thick legs and two-toed feet, their physique is strong and permits long work sessions, these beings don't tire easily.
+Terins are growers and carers, they have green thumbs and can make any garden, and population healthy. Their numbers are fewer these days, given the Iridi Raids. They have dark skin, and very bright eyes. They have thick foreams, fingers and legs, and have two-toed feet. Their physique is overall strong.
 
 ### Aodal
-Aodals are the most common race in the Soronan desert, they are tall, and have small pointed ears, their skin is brown and their hair comes in a variety of browns and blacks. Their faces are relatively flat, and round, with thin eyes. They live primarily in cities like Montore and Edonor, but are also found in Renate.
+There are many Aodals in the Soronan desert. They are tall, and have small pointed ears, their skin is brown and their hair comes in a variety of browns and blacks. Their faces are relatively flat, and round, with thin eyes. They live primarily in cities like Montore and Edonor, but are also found in Renate.
 
 ### Verido
-Verido are traveling merchants, living on the backs of Ilk. They are divided onto three Ilks, Oto, Bala, and Vol, and the coloured patterns on their bodies reflect this. Verido have sand-coloured hair, and trumpet-like ears that stick out horizontally. They enjoy decorating their bodies with colourful trinkets.
+Verido are traveling merchants living on the backs of Ilk. They are divided onto three Ilks: Oto, Bala, and Vol, and the coloured patterns on their bodies reflect this. Verido have sand-coloured hair, and trumpet-like ears that stick out horizontally. They enjoy decorating their bodies with colourful trinkets. They rarely leave the back of their Ilk because of landsickness.
 
 ### Iridi
-The Iridi reside within the protective ridge of Mount Nui in the city of Irideri. They revere the light of the Chloromyce shroos, their very way of life is centred around the harvesting and ingesting of this fungus. Like the chloromyce, they live and operate in the dark, and sleep during the day. Ingesting the fungi, have caused the Iridi to become sensitive to light. The entire realm is alit with chloromyce, especially the reigning monarch who wears them.
+The Iridi reside within the protective ridge of Mount Nui in the city of Irideri. They revere the light of the chloromyce shroos, their very way of life is centred around the harvesting and ingesting of this plant. Like the chloromyce, they live and operate in the dark, and sleep during the day. Ingesting the shroos, have caused the Iridi to become sensitive to light. The entire realm is alit with chloromyce, especially the reigning Light of Lights who wears them.
 
 ### Finiku
- Finiku are a race of sandfin travelers, or at least, they used to be, many have left their nomadic ways to settle in towns. They are sandfin experts, and know the world, all nooks and crannies of the Soronan desert by heart. They are very short, pot-bellied creatures, with long droopy ears and large wet globulous eyes. Their skin is tan, their faces round and flat. Finiku also have small hands and feet. They love to drink, every household produces their own wine.
+A race of sandfinners, or at least, they used to be, many have left their nomadic ways to settle in towns. They're very skilled, and dextrous, able to make precise repairs. They are very short, pot-bellied creatures, with long droopy ears, and large wet globulous eyes. Their skin is tan, their faces round and flat. Finiku also have small hands and feet. They love to drink, every household produces their own wine.
 
 \newpage
 
@@ -2793,7 +2785,7 @@ A type of grass that is hair-like and sweet-tasting. Many creatures have an inte
 A large purple root vegetable, its skin is covered in scales. The scales can be peeled off, revealing the bright and soft red flesh underneath. Plumpkins can be processed into juice, or fermented to make plumpkin ale.
 
 ### Cactub
-A Cactub is a nutritious, bulbous root vegetable primarily found in the Northern Plains, where water stones are scarce. Their outer core is hard, and covered in tiny protrusions called 'nubs'. These nubs helps the cactub move in and out of the ground. The flesh is a white colour, and has a markedly higher fat content than other vegetables. It can be made into cactub oil, it has a high smoke point, making it the ideal cooking oil. Cactubs are a Finiku favourite, served sliced on muckwheat bread. They spend most of their time underground, and only emerge in the dark to gather moisture from the surrounding air. Cactubs are sensititive to loud noises and movements, and they temporarily seize when panicked.
+A Cactub is a nutritious, bulbous root vegetable primarily found in the Northern Plains, where waterstones are scarce. Their outer core is hard, and covered in tiny protrusions called 'nubs'. These nubs helps the cactub move in and out of the ground. The flesh is a white colour, and has a markedly higher fat content than other vegetables. It can be made into cactub oil, it has a high smoke point, making it the ideal cooking oil. Cactubs are a Finiku favourite, served sliced on muckwheat bread. They spend most of their time underground, and only emerge in the dark to gather moisture from the surrounding air. Cactubs are sensititive to loud noises and movements, and they temporarily seize when panicked.
 
 [^34]: **Muckwheat** Grain-like seeds with a nutty taste, used to make breads and stews.
 
@@ -2810,7 +2802,7 @@ Yukwood grows quickly in full suns and hot temperatures. It is an excellent shad
 Sandfinners like to use yukwood to build sandfin masts, and interiors. Older sandfins were built out of this wood entirely, but that practice is rare now.
 
 ### Hampa
-One of the first plants to be spun into usable fiber, but it has fallen out of style in recent annums. Sandfinners continue to use it to make their sails, as it is a sturdy material. The plant is large, with thick broad leaves. It can be found in the Central Rim, near waterstone pits.
+One of the first plants to be spun into usable fiber, but it has fallen out of style in recent annums. Sandfinners continue to use it to make their sails, as it is a sturdy material. The plant is large, with thick broad leaves. It can be found in the Central Rim, near waterstone wells.
 
 [^38]: **Lavendiri** A purple bulbous flower that is often dried and used in homes to cover bad smells, or to freshen a room
 
@@ -2821,7 +2813,7 @@ A purple bulbous flower that is often dried and used in homes to cover bad smell
 
 [^28]: **Medililly**. A rare leafy plant. It is hard to grow, requires much water and attention, and takes annums to grow to maturity (the only time when the plant gains its medical properties). It is used to reduce inflammation.
 
-[^17]:**Shroo**. A fungus that grows in low-light areas. Some varieties are eatable, others poisonous and can cause serious physical and cognitive dammage.  
+[^17]:**Shroo**. A plant that grows in low-light areas. Some varieties are eatable, others poisonous and can cause serious physical and cognitive dammage.  
 
 ### Chloromyce shroo
 A type of fungus that emits strong phosphorescent light, it grows in caves, underground where there is no light. It is an object of desire for the Iridi, who have fought wars in its name.
@@ -2873,8 +2865,8 @@ The Kaba plant has a thick orange trunk, with thousands of stems growing from it
 ### Lanivanil
 Lanivanil plants grow almost completely underground, with just a single flower sticking out of the soil. The flower is a bright yellow, and is very sensitive to changes in the environment. It is said that if music is played near a lanivanil plant, that the bleen will grow to be larger and sweeter. Lanivanil bleen pods develop underground, and each pod can contain up to three bleen. These pods are circular, the size of a fist. Lanivanil is sweet tasting, the roots can be ground up and used to augment dishes. The bleen can be eaten as is, or each bleen can be sliced open, its insides scooped out, to be eaten or cooked in savoury dishes.
 
-### Waterlilly
-Waterlillies are small plants with long, and complex root systems that dig deep into the sand to reach far-away sources of moisture. Habitants of the Soronan desert use them to locate waterstone wells, they typically grow overtop of such sites in great numbers.Because of their ability to find water, they're a common target for thirsty desert travelers. They protect themselves from predators by folding in their petals. The outside of the petals secrete an irritant, used to deter attackers. If ingested, the poison will attack the nervous system and cause generalized paralysis. For a thirsty, dehydrated traveler, laying out in the suns can result in death.  
+### Waternilly
+Waternillies are small plants with long, and complex root systems that dig deep into the sand to reach far-away sources of moisture. Habitants of the Soronan desert use them to locate waterstone wells, they typically grow overtop of such sites in great numbers.Because of their ability to find water, they're a common target for thirsty desert travelers. They protect themselves from predators by folding in their petals. The outside of the petals secrete an irritant, used to deter attackers. If ingested, the poison will attack the nervous system and cause generalized paralysis. For a thirsty, dehydrated traveler, laying out in the suns can result in death.  
 Large avians are well-adapted at hunting them. They beat their wings and cover it in sand to soak up the poison, then break it off its stem with their talons. Only strong avians can manage this.
 
 [^26]: **Waterstones** A liquid preserved in a hard membrane, protecting it from evaporation. The water can be extracted using a press, or a heavy tool. It's also possible to draw out the liquid by putting the stone in the mouth, the water will seep out from a collection of pores on the stone's surface. 
@@ -2941,16 +2933,16 @@ A history book written by Aristollo, explaining how the Iridi came to start inge
 Those who travel the desert by sandfin, a vessel powered by wind. Sandfinners are typically Finiku people.
 
 ### Reader
-Those who master the art of Pattern reading, which consists of reading the lines present on the skin of every Verido. There can only be one Reader per Ilk, a skilled passed down from master to student.
+Those who master the art of Pattern reading, which consists of reading the lines present on the skin of every Verido. It is a skill passed down from master to student.
 
 \newpage
 
 ## Misc
 
 ### Kaala
-An old Verido word to mean 'time'.
+An old Verido word to mean 'time', an onomatopoeia describing the sound the heart of an Ilk makes.
 
-[^14]: **Horo** A unit of kaala(time) conventionally reckoned as 1⁄16 of a day. The rhythm of the world is based on the heart beats of an Ilk, which beats at 20 beats per quarter horo. There are 320 beats per horo, and 16 horos in a day. Days are typically by 4: First sunrise, second sunrise, first sunset and second sunset.
+[^14]: **Horo** A unit of kaala(time) conventionally reckoned as 1⁄16 of a day. The rhythm of the world is based on the heart beats of an Ilk, which beats at 20 beats per quarter horo. There are 320 beats per horo, and 16 horos in a day. Days are typically divided by 4: First sunrise, second sunrise, first sunset and second sunset.
 
 [^3]: **Annum** An annum follows the growing cycle of teaweet, which takes 240 twin sunrises. There are 10 annums in a ki'annum.  
 
@@ -2973,7 +2965,7 @@ A set of ancestors or line of descent of an important person: the survival of a
 Klorea is any of several related green pigments found in the cells of beings of the Soronan desert. It allows them to absorb energy from light. Klorealines are important to the Verido and the Iridi.
 
 ### Mirit
-The mirit is a unit of measurement for length in the Soronan desert. The length of a mirit corresponds to the height of Mirit, the shortest Finiku to have ever lived. Thought to have originated in Montore, as people were using Mirit (a stone worker) to measure stones for the great outer wall of the city. Of course, they did this for a laugh, but it was soon adopted in other cities. People made rods of wood or metal with Mirit's height.
+The mirit is a unit of measurement for length in the Soronan desert. The length of a mirit corresponds to the height of Mirit, the shortest Finiku to have ever lived. Thought to have originated in Montore, with people were using Mirit (a stone worker) to measure stones for the great outer wall of the city. Of course, they did this for a laugh, but it was soon adopted in other cities. People made rods of wood or metal with Mirit's height.
 
 ### Tarka
 Tarka is the name of the sandfin of Eka and Lupen. They salvaged the disowned and damaged vessel on the border of Renate, fixed it up and made it their own.