*

wiktopher3.md

@@ -265,7 +265,7 @@ They arrived at the light, which turned out to be an avoka oil lamp attached to
     "It's a sandfin!" Lupen said, circling it, trying to make out details in the dark. The hull was painted yellow. It had a single wooden mast, and a sail hanging limp from its rope. Eka pointed to a faint glow of a lamp from one of the portholes. Someone was inside.  
     "Hello? Who's in there?" Lupen called out, knocking on the hull.  
     A thin-eyed short thing came peering out of one of the openings. "Wai're korei?!" a shrill voice responded. "I ask who is *out there*!" The voice repeated, switching from Finic to the Common Tongue.   
-    The creature stuck its face in a porthole, the frame contoured it perfectly, making it look like the sandfin had a head growing out of its side. The creature was a Finiku. The Finiku's hair was light and wild, not a single strand seemed to point in the same direction, except for a matted chunk of hair covered in pinny tar^[Pinny tar is a thick, black substance used to protect ropes from the sun on a sandfin.] and coiled in a thick braid. The Finiku's hands were also stained with the black substance. Eka giggled, and watched as Lupen approached the porthole so the Finiku could see better. Even when standing close, the sandfinner's eyes looked everywhere but in the right place.  
+    The creature stuck its face in a porthole, the frame contoured it perfectly, making it look like the sandfin had a head growing out of its side. The creature was a Finiku. The Finiku's hair was light and wild, not a single strand seemed to point in the same direction, except for a matted chunk of hair covered in pinnytar^[Pinnytar is a thick, black substance used to protect ropes from the sun on a sandfin.] and coiled in a thick braid. The Finiku's hands were also stained with the black substance. Eka giggled, and watched as Lupen approached the porthole so the Finiku could see better. Even when standing close, the sandfinner's eyes looked everywhere but in the right place.  
     "Mai'ia! Noho'uta!"  
     "No! We're not ghosts!" Eka replied.  
     "What? No. We're fleshy people. We're right in front of you! Can't you see us?" Lupen asked, perplexed.  
@@ -393,7 +393,7 @@ Eka wandered over to the repair shop next door, which used to be green, Eka coul
     Eka's eyes widened, imagining someone without a nose. "How horrible."  
     "When it come to pomparu, some say no nose is better! Eka no worry, I carve a new nose for my friend out of banabo, I add color with ground lavendiri flower to make it pretty. My friend love it, more than the old nose, call it poronoso'di'no, to mean 'my special purple nose'. Tawari'ia'di. No touch the pomparu! You can say goodbye to *all* friend if you do this. The smell, it *no* come off!"  
     "So, um. Shall we do this thing then?" Eka's nose was eager to move on to some other task, it had no desire to be replaced with a poronoso'di.  
-    Bou covered the inside of the scupper opening with avoka oil, and reluctantly did the same for the area around the pomparu's body, all while wearing multiple thick pairs of pinny-tarred hampa gloves. Then, Eka shoved the small end of a broom through the pomparu-free end of the opening while Bou held it down with both hands.  
+    Bou covered the inside of the scupper opening with avoka oil, and reluctantly did the same for the area around the pomparu's body, all while wearing multiple thick pairs of pinnytarred hampa gloves. Then, Eka shoved the small end of a broom through the pomparu-free end of the opening while Bou held it down with both hands.  
     "Ready?"  
     Eka pushed with such force that the pomparu came flying out and went rolling inside of Bou's workshop. Bou shrieked, tore the broom from Eka's hands and ran inside, but it was too late. The floor was covered with a stinky green discharge, and some had slipped under the various piles of materials. The slimy curvaceous thing was pushed with the bristled end of a broom, out of the workshop, out of the city, away from all the houses. Already some of the villagers were outside, noses pinched and afraid of what this smell would do to the town's shops. They all scurried about, covering the pomparu drippings with ground lavendiri leaves and other strong-smelling herbs, while others scooped it up with shovels and brooms that they knew would have to be discarded after. All had purple gel mustaches.  
     Bou took Eka's side, the broom was at the edge of town with the pomparu, marking the spot where it was so no one would go near it. Those creatures were slow, and Bou had plans of putting a bowl of sour muckwheat far out into the valley to lure it even further away.  
@@ -1838,40 +1838,40 @@ you must have seen much of the desert!"
     Klev shared Lupen's concerns. "It's what I've heard. People are saying that the Ilk of Volare is dying. I don't know if you know this, but their Voice fell and died last annum. It pains me to be the bearer of so much bad news, but I thought you'd want to know. It's been an emotional time for us all."  
     Lupen wanted to cry, but was too stunned to produce any expression resembling grief. The Verido's face was eerily devoid of emotion.  
     "Bala, our Ilk, has been behaving strangely. They impart fewer and fewer thoughts, it may just be grief, but I am worried..." Klev continued, in a lower voice, "we're *all* scared, afraid that both Bala and Oto will follow Vol into the Rupture. If this happens, what does that mean for our people?" Klev's arm also extended out toward the market. "And what about them? They rely on us to transport goods and food between cities."  
-    Lupen thought of a conversation with Rosmus then, and on how their future on the Ilk was uncertain. "Not certain..." Lupen muttered. "Maybe all of this is my fault." Lupen said. "The Voice of Volare isn't dead." Saying this, Lupen removed the scarf, revealing the tattoos.  
-    "I am relieved you're alive Lupen, but I don't believe your death was the cause of all this." Klev said, "I "
-    Lupen nodded, swallowing hard. "I knew this was coming, I've been avoiding thinking about it. Maybe I can dissuade Vol, maybe I can..."  
+    Lupen thought of a conversation with Rosmus then, and on how their future on the Ilk was uncertain. "Not certain." Lupen muttered. "Maybe all of this is my fault," Lupen said, "the Voice of Volare isn't dead." Saying this, Lupen removed the scarf, revealing the tattoos.  
+    "I am relieved you're alive Lupen, but I don't believe your death was the cause of all this." Klev said.  
+    Lupen nodded, swallowing hard. "I knew this was coming. I've been avoiding thinking about it, I'm not even sure why I did that. It's been heavy, there's no point carrying this weight anymore."  
     "So what will you do, Voice of Volare?"  
     "Whatever I can."  
     Lupen parted with Klev and went to see the cartographer once more. "I need whatever update you have for Dorake's pass, the Ash Plains and all the way to The Rupture. I swear to you, I'm not going there to die." Lupen said.  
-    "You'd better, I do not want to be the one marking the road to it." Leonin finished adding the desired modifications.
+    "You'd better, I do not want to be the one marking the road to it." Leonin said, busy adding the desired modifications.
 
-Map in hand, Lupen returned to their encampment. "Change of plans, we're going yorama’tae to intercept Vol."  
-    Eka was lying over Hush, arms hanging down its sides, caressing the large furry beast. "Okay Lu, yorama’tae we go!"  
+Map in hand, Lupen returned to their encampment. "Change of plans, we're going yosaa'ta^[One of 3 intercardinal points, lying between yora'ta(away from the soul of the land) and saa'ta(with the wind).] to intercept Vol."  
+    Eka was lying over Hush, arms hanging down its sides, caressing the large furry beast. "Okay Lu, yosaa'ta we go!"  
     The Verido eyed Eka carefully. "You don't want to know why? Or is it one of those situations where you already know why and that I'm an idiot for asking."  
     Eka was ready to go, standing upright. "Less thinking, more doing!"  
     "I'm scared Eka."  
     Eka had anticipated this sudden shift in mood, and was already halfway to Lupen, coming for a hug. "I know." They stood in each other's arms for a long while.  
     "If we walk we won't make it on time." Lupen said.  
-    "I think I know how." Eka said.  
+    "I think I know what to do." Eka said.  
 
 Eka led Lupen to the area of town where transients moored their sandfins. Hush accompanied them, bounding ahead toward a broken vessel that lay on its side. Its sails were in tatters, and its hull punctured. It bore the name Toronka. Lupen walked over to it. "It's not looking too bad! But who does it belong to?"  
     "I don't know, but I know who might." Eka said, gesturing toward a yellow vessel bearing the name Etyl.
 
-Lupen could see someone was in Etyl, a light was on.  
+Lupen could see someone was in Etyl, a lamp was lit.  
     "Nono's home." The Verido said, relieved.  
     "Kiao'ri Nono!" Eka shouted.  
-    They heard lots of noise inside, and then Nono's head pushed out a porthole, like the first time they met. Nono looked healthy, and quickly found them in the dark. "Kiao' aikana dii!" Nono shouted, smiling. "Come in! Come in!"  
+    They heard lots of noise inside, and then Nono's head pushed out a porthole, like the first time they met. Nono looked healthy, and quickly found them in the dark. "Kiao' aikana'wati di!^[Aikana — love (aikana'wati: loved ones)| Di — appended to word, for emphasis]" Nono shouted, smiling. "Come in! Come in!"  
     They all went inside Etyl, sitting around the small table in the main saloon. A small avoka oil lamp hung from the ceiling. Etyl was in better shape, the tools were organized in drawers or secured in boxes with lanyards, even the floor was free of debris. Nono had recently waxed the floors, Lupen could smell a mix of lemilim, cactub fat and salts. Nono served oversized mugs of bonan wine from a bottle that was as tall as themself to each one of Etyl's guests.  
     Lupen eyed the mug, wondering if bonan wine could induce a headache by proximity. Eka threw an arm around the Verido's shoulders then. "We have time for this okay? Don't worry."    
-    Nono eyed Hush whose head was halfway inside. "Ipaya?" Nono said, offering the hyroo a mug. Hush gave it a lick, but did not enjoy the taste. Nono laughed, and served the hyroo a bowl of mashed babams. "Sou mawani te dodon oro!"  
+    Nono eyed Hush whose head was halfway inside. "Ipaya?" Nono said, offering the hyroo a mug. Hush gave it a lick, but did not enjoy the taste. Nono laughed, and served the hyroo a bowl of mashed babams. "Sosae mawani te dodon oro!"  
     "Good for the soul and the stomach!" Eka translated. "Looks delicious!"  
     "What brings you here?" Lupen asked Nono.  
     "I deliver teaweet from Montore for the Balandri Ilk."  
     "Oh? Renate villagers asked for extra feed?"    
     "No, no, no. The teaweet is a gift!" Nono corrected.  
     "From who? Why?" Lupen asked, perplexed. People in Montore weren't known for their generosity.   
-    "I know who, but told no say... but I will say this. Balandri Ilk go to Montore before go to Renate *always*, when Ilk late to Montore, someone see a problem for Renate people. This make a Montore donor do a rare, kind thing."  
+    "I know who, but told no say... but I say this. Balandri Ilk go to Montore before it go to Renate *always*, when Ilk late to go to Montore, someone see a problem for Renate people. This make a Montore donor do a rare, kind thing."  
     Lupen laughed. "That's okay, I think I *might* know who."  
     There weren't many well-endowed philanthropists in Montore. This bit of good news was heart-warming, and it offered comfort. Lupen knew that the residents of the Soronan Desert would find ways to continue exchanging food and goods, even without the Ilk. The Verido raised a mug-full of bonan wine. "To those who care!"  
     "To those who care!" They all said again.  
@@ -1879,9 +1879,9 @@ Lupen could see someone was in Etyl, a light was on.
     Nono thought about the name for a moment. "Iana. Belong to no one, it is sad."  
     Lupen's eyes lit up, with the Ilk in town it would be easy to find parts to repair it. They drank their wine, and Lupen once again failed to catch Nono re-filling their cups.  
     Eka leaned into Lupen then, "you know, if you don't want Nono to refill your cup, drink slowly..."  
-    The Verido had much to learn about Finiku drinking etiquette, but did not get sick, having eaten enough muckwheat bread and plurple bleen sausages to soak it all up.  
+    The Verido had much to learn about Finiku drinking etiquette, but did not get sick, having eaten enough muckwheat bread and plurple bean sausages to soak it all up.  
 
-The next day, they marched over to Renzo's tent to ask for help to patch up the holes in Toronka's hull, who agreed. They didn't have to ask Nono, the Finiku was already hard at work mending an old sail. For many annums, Nono kept a sail in Etyl's bilge as a backup, but forgot it there. Now, the sail had holes in it. "Ora, ora, the sail is still good. I will fix it!"  
+The next day, they marched over to Renzo's tent to ask for help to patch up the holes in Toronka's hull, who agreed. They didn't have to ask Nono, the Finiku was already hard at work mending an old sail. For many annums, Nono kept a sail in Etyl's bilge as a backup, but forgot it there. Now, the sail had holes in it. "Ora, orae, the sail is still good. I fix it!"  
     Lupen and Eka repaired the rudder and mast, but faced a problem when they saw the state of the lines onboard, the hampa fibres were worn and brittle, they had to be replaced, but Nono had used up the last of the hampa thread to fix the sail. Eka asked around town, but found out that Renate suffered a shortage of hampa, even banabo was difficult to come by this season. For a moment, Eka considered using the poles holding up their tent but Nono said that this wood was too dry, it had to be cut fresh when used to weave ropes.  
     "What else can we use?"  
     Nono looked up at the Ilk then, and Eka followed the Finiku's gaze.  
@@ -1889,17 +1889,28 @@ The next day, they marched over to Renzo's tent to ask for help to patch up the
 
 Eka told Lupen, who went to ask Klev. Verido did not export isilk anymore, but would never deny one of their own kin. Klev secured enough hair for their project, and again, Nono stepped up to do the work, delighted with the quality of the material.  
     "Soft dii! It is perfect!" First, the Finiku cut all hairs the same length and tied the ends together. Then, divided the bundle into three. Nono twisted the three sections, holding two bundles between each finger, with the third bundle set between the toes. Nono began twisting them all in the same direction, the bundles wrapped around one another forming a rope. Eka watched the process, and was soon able to replicate the procedure. They twisted and spliced isilk all day, to the sound of Nono singing sandfinner ballads.  
-    When the ropes were done, Lupen climbed up the mast to run the ropes through the new blocks Maka had made. The blocks were made of dense mapplewood, they had a light coating of avoka oil against the weather. Mapplewood was Nono's recommendation, and Maka was able to source some locally from a fellow artisan. Despite never working with this wood before, Maka's work was so good that Nono requested more for Etyl. Eka was happy to see that both were getting along, and was grateful for their help.  
-    Once Lupen was finished feeding the rigging through the blocks, Eka eased the halyard, slowly, giving the Verido time to apply pinnytar to the ropes on the way down. Lupen returned on deck, hands black and sticky.  
-    Nono gave them an extra container of pinnytar for their trip, "it protect rope from kira!" Nono said.  
-    Lupen smelled like pinnytar for the rest of the day, and realized that this was distinctly Nono's. It was the scent of a seasoned sandfinner.  
+    When the ropes were done, Lupen climbed up the mast to run the lines through the new blocks Maka had made. The blocks were made of dense mapplewood, they had a light coating of avoka oil against the weather. Mapplewood was Nono's recommendation, and Maka was able to source some locally from a fellow artisan. Despite never working with this wood before, Maka's work was so good that Nono requested more for Etyl. Eka was happy to see that both were getting along, and was grateful for their help.  
+    Once Lupen was finished feeding the rigging through the blocks, Eka eased the halyard, slowly, giving the Verido time to apply pinnytar to the ropes on the way down. Lupen returned on deck, hands black and sticky. Nono gave them an extra container of the subtance for their trip, "it protect rope from kira!" Nono said.  
+    Lupen smelled like pinnytar for the rest of the day, and realized that this was distinctly Nono's smell, the scent of a seasoned sandfinner.  
 
 After many days of hard work, it came time to test Toronka.  
     On the first run, Lupen got the sandfin stuck in a sandbank, on the second, the tiller came loose. The third and fourth run revealed even more problems, but gradually they found less and less. After many more runs, the sandfin surfed on the desert plains beautifully. Nothing rattled or threatened to break off. They began filling it with supplies for the journey ahead.  
-    The sandfin’s lockers were filled with bags of teaweet flour, crates of waterstones, plurple kyabe, sweet babams and mapples.  
+    The sandfin’s lockers were filled with bags of teaweet flour, crates of waterstones, plurple kyabe, sweet babams, and mapples.  
 
 On the eve of their departure, they made a fire, and laid out a fabric tarp on the ground to sit on. That evening, Klev played traditional Verido music, Maka cooked for everyone, and Renzo told Iridi legends.  
-    Klev presented Lupen and Eka with a bottle of kabacho^[A fermented drink made from the fruit of the Kaba plant.], which they later shared and savored with others, and then improvised a tune using a donmol, an instrument with a flat back, triangular-shaped sound holes, four double strings, a long neck, and a raised fingerboard. Lupen smiled at the lyrics. It was about mountains that could not kneel, moons that could not sleep, and of fires that could not touch. Eka was translating the meaning of the song to the other guests through exaggerated gestures. Nono and Renzo watched, each interpreting the pantomime in their own way.  
+    Klev presented Lupen and Eka with a bottle of kabacho^[A fermented drink made from the fruit of the Kaba plant.], which they later shared and savored with others, and then improvised a tune using a donmol, an instrument with a flat back, triangular-shaped sound holes, four double strings, a long neck, and a raised fingerboard. Lupen smiled at the lyrics.  
+
+All birds are hid and gone,
+As clouds blacken the sky,
+Like a mountain I wait,
+For sawa's breath.
+
+All sand is still,
+As a lonely cloud floats by,
+Like a bird I wait,
+For sawa's breath.
+
+Eka was translating the meaning of the song to the other guests through exaggerated gestures. Nono and Renzo watched, each interpreting the pantomime in their own way.  
     "Ara ara! A durdle! Ora! It is hungry! And it no can swim." Nono said.  
     "No, no, it's about the journey of a great warrior!" Renzo corrected.  
 
@@ -1917,46 +1928,46 @@ All in the group were merry, all but Nono and Eka, to whom it had little effect.
     "Eka, I want to say to you," Nono said, moving close, "I stop by Edonor to talk to my friend who know a lot about woth."  
     The Finiku filled up Eka's mug again. "To see the bottom, it is bad luck." Nono once said.  
     "We haven't found the name of our woth friend yet." Eka said.  
-    "You will find soon," Nono replied, "I tell my friend about the detail of wingspan, antenna and color of your woth. They say it is *super* woth!" Saying this, Nono's arms spread wide, spilling half the contents of a mug into the sand. Then, Nono's body relaxed. "Long, long ago, there is more big thing in the desert, and now, not so. But, when I young, I see a rare creature..." Saying this, Nono's eyes glassed over. "Nono teki kira te sawa no mawani..."  
+    "You will find soon," Nono replied, "I tell my friend about the detail of wingspan, antenna and color of your woth. They say it is *super* woth!" Saying this, Nono's arms spread wide, spilling half the contents of a mug into the sand. Then, Nono's body relaxed. "Long, long ago, there is more big thing in the desert, and now, not so. But, when I young, I see a rare creature..." Saying this, Nono's eyes glassed over. "Wati teki kira te sawa no mawani..."  
     Maka overheard the last bit of their conversation, and eyed Nono in disbelief. "You saw the soul of the suns and the wind?"  
     Nono drifted to another place, recalling something that had happened annums ago. Nono began to tell the story, switching to Finic, speaking in a low voice so Eka could translate for everyone.  
 
->     When I was young, I went to the Rupture with my grand-mapa Etyl, who was sick, and decided that it was time to take The Leap.  
->     In the Ash Plains, near the Rupture, the ground was black. I was scared, but I never did say it, because this was an important day for Etyl and I did not want to ruin it. Together we walked to the edge of the chasm. We sat near it for a long while, talking, drinking tea, sharing muckwheat bread... but then, before dark, came time to say goodbye. Without a word, I watched my grand-mapa leap into the chasm, and disappear into the dark.  
->     I stayed there, and I could not sleep, so I got up, and went to stand on the edge of the Rupture again. I knew my grand-mapa would not be there, but I found it comforting. Then I saw a giant figure. Its long legs passed over my head sending swirling clouds of ash into the air, which stained my clothes, and obstructed my vision for a moment. I cleared it away from my eyes, just in time to catch the giant stepping down into the Rupture!  
+>     When I was young, I went to the Rupture with my grandmapa Etyl, who was sick, and decided that it was time to take the Leap.  
+>     In the Yora'ta Ash Plains, near the Rupture, the ground was black. I was scared, but I never did say it, because this was an important day for Etyl and I did not want to ruin it. Together we walked to the edge of the chasm. We sat near it for a long while, talking, drinking tea, sharing muckwheat bread... but then, before dark, came time to say goodbye. Without a word, I watched my grandmapa leap into the chasm, and disappear into the dark.  
+>     I stayed there, and I could not sleep, so I got up, and went to stand on the edge of the Rupture again. I knew my grandmapa would not be there, but I found it comforting. Then I saw a giant figure. Its long legs passed over my head sending swirling clouds of ash into the air, which stained my clothes, and obstructed my vision for a moment. I cleared it away from my eyes, just in time to catch the giant stepping down into the Rupture!  
     Then it was gone...  
 
-    Eka said, stopping as Nono took a breath. All were listening, gathered around the fire and enthralled by Nono's story.  
-    "I've heard a similar story," Klev said. "My friend Uggi was up late, observing the reflection of the moons on the dunes below. Uggi saw a tall shape in the distance, moving. Its legs spanned entire dunes. Uggi went to grab a glass to make out its features in detail, but lost sight of it."  
-    Maka nodded. "A giant left crates of food patches for people in Renate during the Raids, our people would not have survived without it."  
+    Eka said, stopping as Nono took a breath. All were listening, gathered around the fire and enthralled by the story.  
+    "I've heard a similar story," Klev said. "My friend Uggi was up late one night, observing the reflection of the moons on the dunes below. Uggi saw a tall shape in the distance, moving. Its legs spanned entire dunes. Uggi went to grab a glass to make out its features in detail, but lost sight of it."  
+    Maka nodded. "A giant left crates of foodpatches for people in Renate during the raids, our people would not have survived without it."  
     "No one spoke to the giant?" Renzo asked.  
     "No," Maka began, "all they saw was the crate at the edge of the village and a tall silhouette, riding away."  
-    Renzo also had something to share. "Like you, Klev, I did not see it with my own eyes, but I heard stories. During the Raids at the Suvalba Sanctuary, soldiers stole seeds to bring back to Moera. One day, all awoke to the blood-curdling screams of a soldier. The soldier was shaking, claiming to have seen some kind of large apparition wandering through the camp. No one else had seen it. When they arrived in Irideri, they found the bags were empty, full of holes. Some of them went back to gather the lost cargo, but they found nothing."  
+    Renzo also had something to share. "Like you, Klev, I did not see it with my own eyes, but I heard stories. During the raids at the Suvalba Sanctuary, soldiers stole seeds to bring back to Moera. One day, all awoke to the blood-curdling screams of a soldier. The soldier was shaking, claiming to have seen some kind of large apparition wandering through the camp. No one else had seen it. When they arrived in Irideri, they found the bags were empty, full of holes. Some of them went back to gather the lost cargo, but they found nothing."  
     Lupen smiled, "Zucca would be glad to hear this."
 
 The day ended with everyone sleeping around a dying flame, all, but Lupen and Eka. Both were lying next to each other, gazing up at the sky. A question burned at Lupen's lips. "You didn't look surprised when you saw me at the top of the mountain."  
     "Surprised? No. Happy? Yes." Eka said with a kind smile.  
     "If not me, then someone else?" Lupen said, feeling small and unimportant.  
-    "No. Couldn't have been anyone else. Couldn't have happened any other way," Eka said, rolling over and throwing an arm around Lupen's middle. "Others have come before you, but you weren't born then so you have a good excuse." Eka said with a smirk.  
+    "No. Couldn't have been anyone else. Couldn't have happened any other way." Eka said, rolling over and throwing an arm around Lupen's middle. "Others have come before you, but you weren't born then so you have a good excuse." Eka said with a smirk.  
     "You're getting real tall," Lupen noted.  
     "You noticed that, huh?"  
     "When I met Uno, it was difficult to have a conversation. Uno was always sort of... distant. Is that what will happen to you?"  
-    The Wonder said nothing, but pulled Lupen in close, until they were cheek to cheek, belly to belly. Lupen's eyes locked onto the skyrocks above. "Why aren't you two together?"  
+    Eka said nothing, but pulled Lupen in close, until they were cheek to cheek, belly to belly. Lupen's eyes locked onto the skyrocks above. "Why aren't you two together?"  
     Eka was drawing invisible pictures on Lupen's back. "You could ask the same of the Ilk."  
     "Oh. Well, they used to be together," Lupen began, "but then they agreed to help us. Verido did this too. We used to be together. One big tribe. Separating made more sense though, even if it was hard."  
     "You've got your answer, I think." Eka said.  
     Lupen gazed up at the moons then. "I wish I could live forever."  
-    "A good life is better than a long one Lu, and whether a life is good can't be determined by its length." Eka's hand slid over Lupen's skyrock necklace. "Remember what I told you about skyrocks? They look small from here, but they come from far, far away, and there they are giants. You too are a giant to someone, and you shine brighter than you think."  
+    "A good life is better than a long one Lu, and whether a life is good can't be determined by its length." Eka's hand slid over Lupen's skyrock necklace. "Remember what I told you about skyrocks? They look small from here, but they come from far, far away, and there, they are giants. You too are a giant to someone, and you shine brighter than you think."  
     As Lupen drifted off to sleep, Eka was reciting constellations. "Salarus, Vitali, Neoneve..." at that moment Eka's eyes took note of a shooting skyrock. A name came to mind, an old name, belonging to a friend that was now long gone. The name never left Eka's mind. "You came as quickly as you went my dear Wiktopher. We had a lot of fun though..." Eka said.
-    Suddenly, the woth crawled out of its glass ball and fLu onto Eka's head, wings fluttering wildly. It then began to shimmy its body from side to side, wiggling its antennae. When it settled, Eka smiled, "I agree, it is time someone else bear this name," and began to stroke the ends of the hairs on its back, humming.  
+    Suddenly, the woth crawled out of its glass ball and flew onto Eka's head, wings fluttering wildly. It then began to shimmy its body from side to side, wiggling its antennae. When it settled, Eka smiled, "I agree, it is time someone else bear this name," and began to caress the soft hairs on the woth's back, humming.  
 
 The next morning, Lupen woke to the sound of arguing. Nono was awake, standing at the foot of a Beobug sandfin, which must have moored here in the dark and kinked Nono's vessel, an accident that Nono believed was deliberate.  
     Lupen walked up to Nono, and noticed Gree at one of the portholes. "Gree! Come down! Stop hiding!"  
-    "I no hide!" Gree shouted back, exiting the sandfin in a huff, ready to smack whoever had said this. "Araaa! Voice of Volare! What an honor!"    
+    "I no hide!" Gree shouted back, exiting the sandfin in a huff, ready to smack whoever had said this. "Ah! Voice of Volare! What an honor!"    
     "Stop right there," Lupen said, putting a hand forward "did you wreck Etyl on purpose?"  
     "Oh no no no..." Gree said, in a Nono kind of way.  
-    Nono was furious, and jumped onto Gree's back, who was now running in circles, pulling the Finiku's ears and screaming into them. "Komororo'ia!" Both switched to Finic then. Lupen understood nothing, but could guess what they were saying, because their fight was an old one. Nono was tugging at the Finiku's ears, like one would pull on carriage reins. When the captain of Beobug II continued to deny the damage, Nono grabbed onto Gree's nose, a finger pulling at each nostril.  
-    "Iaa! Nono iana!"  
+    Nono was furious, and jumped onto Gree's back, who was now running in circles, pulling the Finiku's ears and screaming into them. "Komororo'ia!^[Finic for "You idiot!""]" Both switched to Finic then. Lupen understood nothing, but could guess what they were saying, because their fight was an old one. Nono was tugging at the Finiku's ears, like one would pull on carriage reins. When the captain of Beobug II continued to deny the damage, Nono grabbed onto Gree's nose, a finger pulling at each nostril.  
+    "Iaaaa! Nono iana!"  
     Lupen thought about separating them, but also thought that Gree deserved it.  
     "I admit it!" Gree shouted. "It was no mistake. I bump into Etyl on purpose..."  
     Lupen sighed. "Now why did you do *that*?"  
@@ -1971,25 +1982,26 @@ The next morning, Lupen woke to the sound of arguing. Nono was awake, standing a
     "How about you two sandfin together?" Lupen suggested.  
     "Lupen is crazy. I no want to work for Beobug." Nono said, disgusted with the idea.  
     "Aboard Etyl."  
-    "But if I do this, it will leave Beobug II without a captain..." Gree said.  
+    "But if I do this, it leave Beobug II without a captain..." Gree said.  
     "Gree no worry. Beobug can find other lazy captain *easy* *easy*," Nono said with a laugh, "Gree have *no* talent."  
     "So it's decided then! You'll travel together from now on," Lupen said.  
     Nono realized what Lupen had said. "No no no no no..." but before Nono could no-no any further, Lupen let out a loud whistle, so loud that even the Ilk of Balandri turned its head.  
     "This is no fair!"  
     "Maybe it's time to revisit the feelings you have for Gree. It sounds like you never really gave Gree a chance. You are family, and family... it's, it's everything..." Suddenly Lupen's eyes started to water. Lupen sat on the ground, shaking, overcome with grief. Inconsolable.  
     Both Finiku stared, uncomprehending, thinking themselves responsible. They gathered around the Verido.  
-    "Iane harioki'ia're..." Nono said, in a gentle voice, hand over Lupen's shoulder. Gree did the same. They looked at each other then, sighing. "Ok." Nono said, "We will travel together. I will be patient. I promise." Gree was about to put on the Beobug cap but Nono slapped it away. Both Finiku continued to bicker, but more quietly this time.  
+    "Iane, harioki'ia're^[No, don't be sad.]..." Nono said, in a gentle voice, hand over Lupen's shoulder. Gree did the same. They looked at each other then, sighing. "Ok." Nono said, "We will travel together. I will be patient. I promise." Gree was about to put on the Beobug cap but Nono slapped it away. Both Finiku continued to bicker, but more quietly this time.  
 
-Lupen was on the ground still, unable to calm down. "I have to go home." Lupen managed to say.  
-    "You *are*. Toronka is ready," Klev said.  
+Lupen was on the ground still, unable to calm down. Klev, who was nearby, approached Lupen. "You okay?"  
+    "I have to go home." Lupen managed to say.  
+    "You *are*. Toronka is ready."  
     "But even if Vol *doesn't* die, how can I go back? They'll think I betrayed them."    
     "You fell," Klev said, "how is that a betrayal?"  
     "I never tried to tell them that I was alive. I could have, but I didn't. I never wanted to be Voice, maybe I did want to fall off the Ilk..."  
     "Your reasons are your own Lupen," Klev said, "but maybe it's better this way, better that you found your way here, to meet Eka, to learn about the world. If what I think is happening with the Ilk, *is* happening, we'll need someone to help us live in the dust. I'm scared too, y'know. In fact, I've been land-sick all day."  
-    "I'd be a bad teacher," Lupen blinked and began to laugh, "y'know, that's something I've always said about myself. But it's not true. I think I could do it." Lupen looked up at Bala, and began to whistle to the Ilk.  
+    "I'd be a bad teacher..." After saying this, Lupen blinked, and began to laugh, "it's funny. It's a thing that I always used to say about myself, but it's not true is it?" Lupen looked up at Bala, and began to whistle to the Ilk.  
     The Ilk of Balandri was eating teaweet and stopped mid-chew to listen. After Lupen's message, Bala swallowed and turned its head downwind. It took a deep breath, and a low, deep sound pushed out of its throat, reverberating through the town and across the desert plains. As it sang, the whole town stopped to listen.  
     Klev smiled. "They will be happy to hear you're alive."  
-    "Yes, I think so..."
+    "Yes, I think so."
 
 \newpage
 
@@ -2001,45 +2013,45 @@ Lupen was on the ground still, unable to calm down. "I have to go home." Lupen m
 
 \newpage
 
-That morning Lupen got up early, eager to set eyes on Toronka again after dreaming about wandering its insides, fingers running along bolts, nuts and tracing along the grain of the wood. The yukwood hull held records of history, Lupen could read it by following the growth rings, "like moving backwards through time."  
+That morning Lupen got up early, eager to set eyes on Toronka again after dreaming about wandering its insides, fingers running along bolts, nuts, and tracing along the grain of the wood. The yukwood hull held records of history, Lupen could read it by following the growth rings, "like moving backwards through time."  
 
-    The Verido saw Maka near Toronka, knees in the sand and hands in a bucket filled with thick plurple bleen grease. Lupen had seen other villagers in Renate make it to use as decorative paint. The grease was thick and wet, but would cure after a day of full suns.  
+    The Verido saw Maka near Toronka, knees in the sand and hands in a bucket filled with thick plurple bean grease. Lupen had seen other villagers in Renate make it to use as decorative paint. The grease was thick and wet, but would cure after a day of full suns.  
 
                                             ~  
 
-    **Plurple Bleen Grease**  
+    **Plurple Bean Grease**  
 
     *Ingredients*  
 
->     Ten stalks of plurple bleens, stemmed  
+>     Ten stalks of plurple beans, stemmed  
 >     Five avoka nut pods  
 >     A half pail of waterstones  
 
     *Instructions*  
 
->     Press liquid from waterstones into a large recipient, discard skins, and add plurple bleens in liquid. Let plurple bleens soak for a day. Strain, but reserve the liquid.  
+>     Press liquid from waterstones into a large recipient, discard skins, and add plurple beans in liquid. Let plurple beans soak for a day. Strain, but reserve the liquid.  
 >     Crack the avoka nuts, and pour the oil into the liquid, mix well. Then, place the recipient over a hot fire, until liquid content is reduced by half. Dip a stick in the mixture, if it stays upright on its own, it is ready.  
 
                                             ~  
 
 All were awake now, and gathered around the bucket to dip their hands in it. They took turns stamping their gooey palms on the sandfin's hull.  
-    Nono's hand print was nearest to the ground, small and covered with cracks due to annums of handling ropes. Renzo's was medium-sized with thin fingers, Maka's print was the largest with thick rounded fingers, Eka's was small, but bigger than Nono's.  
+    Nono's handprint was nearest to the ground, small, and covered with cracks due to annums of handling ropes. Renzo's was medium-sized with thin fingers, Maka's print was the largest with thick rounded fingers, Eka's was small, but bigger than Nono's.  
     "Your palms are *very* wrinkly Eka." Lupen noted. "Like an old licky root rind."  
     Eka was getting the last basket of supplies onto the sandfin, "or like your face when you're complaining about something," Saying this, Eka smirked and disappeared inside the cabin.  
     "Well, my face *doesn't* do *that*..." but creases formed on Lupen's face then from scowling. "Okay, okay. It *does* crease up a bit."  
-    Lupen looked at Toronka's hull again. The Verido's hand print had lines and dots, resembling growth rings on a tree. The Verido thought of home, and was surprised to find that thinking of home was pleasant again.   
-    Eka arrived outside to pour tea into the mugs of their companions. All had slept around Toronka, except Nono who preferred sleeping on Etyl. Lupen passed some bonan leaf plates around, each one had slices of toasted muckwheat bread with a generous serving of spiced bam purée. Klev and Ren decline a plate, having not yet recovered from yesterday's drinking.  
+    Lupen looked at Toronka's hull again. The Verido's handprint had lines and dots, resembling veins on a leaf, as Zucca had once said. The Verido thought of home, and was surprised to find that thinking of home was pleasant again.   
+    Eka arrived outside to pour tea into the mugs of their companions. All had slept around Toronka, except Nono who preferred sleeping on Etyl. Lupen passed some bonan leaf plates around, each one had slices of toasted muckwheat bread with a generous serving of spiced bam purée. Klev and Renzo declined a plate, having not yet recovered from yesterday's drinking.  
 
 After breakfast, Nono boarded Toronka to inspect the deck, outer hull and rigging again. The Finiku's big wet eyes scanned every part, followed every rope from working to bitter end, the hands inspected every knot, and even the feet got to prove their worth by stomping down to sound the deck for abnormalities. After a thorough inspection, Nono climbed up to half mast to make an announcement.  
-    "Good work aikanae'wati! Toronka ready to fly!"  
+    "Good work aikana'wati! Toronka ready to fly!"  
 
 There was no breeze to sail with yet, but there were signs of its coming. Once in a while, the Finiku would climb up the mast to look at the horizon. "Sawa come. Sawa come soon!"  
-    Eka was spending time with Hush, caressing the beast's large parabolic ears. "I'm sorry you can't come with us on Toronka." The hyroo had grown too large for a sandfin, even Eka could not stand upright in the cabin. The Wonder caressed the hyroo's soft cheeks and grabbed the sides of the beast's snout. "We'll come back for you soon. I promise."  
+    Eka was spending time with Hush, caressing the beast's large parabolic ears. "I'm sorry you can't come with us on Toronka." The hyroo had grown too large for a sandfin, even Eka could not stand upright in the cabin. Eka caressed the hyroo's soft cheeks and grabbed the sides of the beast's snout. "We'll come back for you soon. I promise."  
     Nono would stay until Toronka left. Gree, too, was aboard the sandfin. The Finiku wore plain clothes and the Beobug cap, but even with the Beobug logo gone it angered Nono. Gree was taking boxes from Nono's hands, and carrying each one below deck. Nono was tense, and Gree was quiet.  
     "How's it going so far?" Lupen had asked, with Gree out of earshot.  
-    "It... how do you say in Common Tongue? Full of mind and body pain," Nono replied.  
+    "It is... how to you say in Common Tongue? Full of mind and body pain," Nono replied.  
     "Painful," Lupen corrected.  
-    "Orae. Very, very pain-full, but Nono try." Nono glanced at Gree on Etyl with feigned affection, who was adjusting the standing rigging, and began to yell. "Ianae! Ara maha! Tawari'ia!"  
+    "Orae. Very, very pain-full, but I try." Nono glanced at Gree on Etyl, who was adjusting the standing rigging, and began to yell. "Ianae! Ara maha?! Tawari'ia!^[No! What are you doing?! Don't touch!]"  
     Gree gave Nono a dirty look and continued to adjust the lines. "This way is better!"  
     Nono stormed back on deck and both continued to bicker in Finic.  
     "In short, too many captains." Renzo explained, having witnessed the argument.  
@@ -2051,16 +2063,16 @@ There was no breeze to sail with yet, but there were signs of its coming. Once i
     "No," Renzo made a face, "well, not anymore."  
     "You sure it's okay to leave Hush with you?" Eka asked Renzo, joining them near Toronka. Hush, who was sitting near the bow of the sandfin in the shade, had a crowd of appreciators around at all times. Children were gathering around the hyroo now, stroking its fur. A mess of tiny hands ran through its mane, separating the soft hairs like teeth on a comb. The large beast seemed to enjoy the attention.  
     "Yes, it's fine." Renzo offered Hush a sip of plumpkin juice, and gripped the cup tightly so the beast wouldn't lick it up by accident. The children laughed as the beast drank, spilling plumpkin juice everywhere. Renzo smiled.  
-    Eka caught the smile, and was as determined to catch many more before they left for their trip. "Vi ana tribu." Eka said.  
+    Eka caught the smile, and was determined to catch many more before they left for their trip. "Vi ana tribu, Renzo."  
     Renzo froze, and by these words was transported to another time and place. Its rhythm was comforting, better than music, like re-discovering a long-forgotten, and favorite childhood meal. Ren had learned Aodan while first employed in the Court of Light, Enji grew up speaking it, and taught Renzo over games of Hako...  
 
 >     "Nocta," a hand flashed in front of Renzo's eyes, showing the fully-engraved topside of a six-faced stone die, which Enji turned, showing a smooth face, "soli." A side with two connected textured triangles, "son." A side with two disconnected triangles, "nos. And the remaining sides are nulalun and grandalun," Enji explained, "I play soli. Soli *always* starts." Renzo could hear Enji's voice through the thickness of a time now long gone...
 
-    A Sonozai was still attached to Renzo's belt, the set of four dice hung loosely on their string. "We are one tribe, one family." Renzo's face softened, moved closer to Eka, and they put their foreheads together. "Jui, vi la ana granda tribu. Tanka koroa Eka." Each had one hand pressed behind the head of the other, they stayed like this for a moment before Eka pulled away.  
-    "We will see each other soon, yea?" Eka said.  
+    A Sonozai was still attached to Renzo's belt, the set of four dice hung loosely on their string. "We are one tribe, one family." Renzo's face softened, moved closer to Eka, and they put their foreheads together. "Jui, vi la ana granda tribu. Tanka koroa Eka.^[Yes, we are one big tribe. Thank you, Eka.]" Each had one hand pressed behind the head of the other, they stayed like this for a moment before Eka pulled away.  
+    "We will see each other soon, yea?"  
     "Yes. I wish for it to be soon," Renzo replied, smiling brightly.  
-    Eka went to meet with Klev and Nono to say goodbye. Klev was busy braiding a bracelet when Eka came,  they spoke at length about playing the donmol, and about the best technique to ferment kyabe.  
-    Then, Eka moved to talk to Maka. The metalworker held a box with a gift inside. It was full of fresh plurple bleen sausages, appropriately paired with jars of mapple jam. "I added loads of grated chilabi to one of these sausages," Maka said with a wink, "not telling you which!" Chilabi was a popular ingredient in Aodal cuisine. A hot, pungent condiment that burns the nose. Renate residents liked to play a game called Chilabi Plusa, to mean chilabi with something extra.  
+    Eka went to meet with Klev and Nono to say goodbye. Klev was busy braiding a bracelet when Eka came,  they spoke at length about playing the donmol, and about the best way to ferment kyabe.  
+    Then, Eka moved to talk to Maka. The metalworker held a box with a gift inside. It was full of fresh plurple bean sausages, appropriately paired with jars of mapple jam. "I added loads of grated chilabi to one of these sausages," Maka said with a wink, "not telling you which!" Chilabi was a popular ingredient in Aodal cuisine. A hot, pungent condiment that burns the nose. Renate residents liked to play a game called Chilabi Plusa, to mean chilabi with something extra.  
 
 ### Chilabi Plusa
 
@@ -2072,17 +2084,17 @@ There was no breeze to sail with yet, but there were signs of its coming. Once i
     They had played this game once already at a party, at that time Eka had not eaten a spiked dumpling, and neither had Lupen, although Eka was very good at pretending and had won the game. Now, it was almost certain that one of them would have to suffer its effects.  
 
 Nono was next in line, Eka knelt down to match the Finiku's short height. "By the way, our woth friend is named Wiktopher."  
-    Nono's eyes widened in surprise, "sosae'di!" Nono said, ecstatic, pulling Eka in close, the Finiku's short arms barely able to encircle The Wonder. "I am happy to hear this!"   
+    Nono's eyes widened in surprise, "sosae'di!^[Very good!]" Nono said, ecstatic, pulling Eka in close, the Finiku's short arms barely able to encircle The Wonder. "I am happy to hear this!"   
     Lupen also said goodbye, but spent the most time with Klev, chatting away in Ilken. Both Verido were using the short form, whistling away while the villagers stared, perplexed by the absence of talking. Klev had finished the isilk bracelet, and gave it to Lupen as a parting gift. "Now you carry Bala with you."  
     "Thanks, it's lovely." Lupen said, stroking the braid, its red hue evident under the two suns. Then, the Verido removed the skyrock necklace and handed it to Klev. "It's a piece of skyrock. A reminder that the world is bigger than the Ilk, bigger than the Soronan Desert even. It's an amazing place, and there is much to see."  
     Klev took the necklace, eyes locked onto its shiny, smooth surface. "Wow. They're as small down here as they appear up there! Incredible."  
 
 Eka and Lupen stepped aboard the sandfin, each taking on the tasks they'd agreed on the previous day. Lupen pulled on the mainsail halyard to raise it, while Eka kept the rope rings that secured the sail to the mast from catching. Once the sail was all the way up, the rope was tied and Eka loosened the sheet to let the boom hang to one side and catch the wind. The sail soon filled with air, pulling the sandfin forward.  
     All in the village waved as Toronka sandfinned away. Nono held up a scarf, letting the wind catch into it. The others in the group let their scarves fly too.  
-    As Eka and Lupen left Renate, they could see the scarves undulating in the wind, hundreds of colorful knitted arms waving goodbye. The Ilk of Balandri sang a parting song that resounded throughout the desert. This song would catch the ear of the other two Ilk, and for a moment Lupen wondered if it could convince Vol to slow down its pace, or alter its course. Lupen knew that thinking this was silly, as it was near impossible to dissuade anyone from taking the Leap. Lupen's mind drifted to a day when Levi was still alive, a day they'd spent together...
+    As Eka and Lupen left Renate, they could see the scarves undulating in the wind, hundreds of colorful knitted arms waving goodbye. The Ilk of Balandri sang a parting song that resounded throughout the desert. This song would catch the ear of the other two Ilk, and for a moment Lupen wondered if it could convince Vol to slow down its pace, or alter its course. Lupen knew that thinking this was silly, as it was near impossible to dissuade anyone from taking the Leap. Lupen's mind drifted to a day when Levi was still alive, a day they'd spent together.
     Lupen sat with this wonderful happy and sad memory for a while, and then let it go. That day, Lupen made a plan to try and plant a garden in the desert, like Zucca. "I wonder if woodgeon shrubs can grow down here..."  
 
-    As Renate faded away, they settled into their respective tasks, taking bearings, checking the horizon for obstacles, or anything that could help them identify where they were. The Soronan Desert has many mountains to use as landmarks by countless sanfinners and foot travelers to find their way. In the Central Rim, the wind always circulated in the same direction. To find saa'ta, all they had to do was walk with the wind at their backs. On days without wind, one need only to look at the sand dunes which are shaped by the wind, the direction of the slant indicates saa'ta. Finding yora'mu is easiest after the second sunset, all avians sleep with their heads pointing in that direction. Etyl's old compass twitched, their bow heading saa’mu, or 'into the wind' in the Common Tongue. The needle always pointed to yora’mu, another Finiku term to mean 'towards the soul of the land'. On the compass were Finiku symbols for all 4 directions.
+    As Renate faded away, they settled into their respective tasks, taking bearings, checking the horizon for obstacles, or anything that could help them identify where they were. The Soronan Desert has many mountains, used as landmarks by countless sanfinners and foot travelers to find their way. In the Central Rim, the wind always circulated in the same direction. To find saa'ta, all they had to do was walk with the wind at their backs. On days without wind, one need only to look at the sand dunes which are shaped by the wind, the direction of the slant indicates it. Finding yora'mu is easiest after the second sunset, all avians sleep with their heads pointed in that direction. Etyl's old compass twitched, their bow heading saa’mu, or 'into the wind' in the Common Tongue. The needle always pointed to yora’mu, another Finiku term to mean 'towards the soul of the land'. On the compass were Finiku symbols for all 4 directions.
     Lupen took notes on a map while Toronka was sandfinning itself, bow pointing toward the Rupture.  
 
 About midday, the wind died. Lupen kept an eye on the horizon for wind, but not a single grain of sand was shifting. With all of this time to think, the Verido remembered The Tale of Three, Uno's gift.  
@@ -2099,14 +2111,14 @@ About midday, the wind died. Lupen kept an eye on the horizon for wind, but not
 
 ### The Tale of Three
 
->      During an annum of terrible desert storms three Verido siblings, Otora, Balandri and Volare, took it upon themselves to save their loved ones from the hardships of the Soronan Desert. The eldest, Otora, proposed that they build a city, with thick walls to shield them from the weather. Such a wall would require too many resources—this detail worried Balandri. They would need to dig the earth, further damaging the desert.  
+>     During an annum of terrible desert storms, three Verido siblings, Otora, Balandri and Volare, took it upon themselves to save their loved ones from the hardships of the Soronan Desert. The eldest, Otora, proposed that they build a city, with thick walls to shield them from the weather. Such a wall would require too many resources—this detail worried Balandri. They would need to dig the earth, further damaging the desert.  
 >     Balandri, in turn, proposed to build a large sandfin that could keep the town moving so they could stay ahead of the weather. All places on this dust planet were dangerous at one point or another. After designing this vessel they realized that it would not be possible to build. No one could help design one large enough to carry a small city. They considered a flotilla of smaller vessels too, but given their sizable population and lack of experience sandfinning, it seemed difficult.  
 >     One day, a tall stranger arrived at Volare's tent. The stranger had heard about their predicament. "I have an idea for you." The silver-eyed giant said. The next day, Volare announced to Otora and Balandri that there was one other option to consider. "We will walk." The others did not share their sibling's love of trekking on hot sand, but they followed Volare across the desert to a lonely mountain. They rested during the day, and traveled at night. Eventually, they reached a mountain, and went through a pass carved in its middle. On the other side they found three Ilk, grazing on bibiskiss and hampawoods. They appeared thin, and tired.  
->      The giant told Volare that this was their main grazing ground. There were three Ilk, and three Verido siblings, nothing could be more perfect.  
->      The Ilk were as tall as mountains. They had strong backs and legs, their feet were wide and gave them stability for walking on sand. In terrible storms, they could anchor their toes deep into the ground. They had long slender necks, a thin face with a set of curved horns.  
->      The siblings spent annums learning about these giant beasts, on how best to approach them, and how to communicate. One day, the Ilk lowered their heads and invited Verido on their backs. Each befriended a different Ilk, and with their permission, built dwellings in the carapace that grew upon their spines.  
->      Traveling on the back of Ilk ensured both their survival. The Verido were safe from the weather, and kept the Ilk healthy. Many worked at keeping parasites away, inspecting every inch of skin from head to toe for bruises, and tending to them. One annum two Ilk became sick with a rare fungus, but the problem was diagnosed and the fungus eradicated. Verido could build anything using isilk and carapace shavings, materials endemic to the Ilk. Every annum the carapace thickness was measured, and the Verido would only ever harvest it if it had grown enough. Food and drink was harder to come by, but they found shroos, mosses, which contained water, and they found clever ways to harvest it. Overtime, they were able to grow bibiskiss, looberries and looma roots.   
->      Otora, Balandri and Volare taught their children how to converse with the Ilk. A child from each mapa took on the role of Voice. The Veridos became a race of traveling merchants, craftspeople and inventors. They secured agreements with various cities, carrying provisions from village to village. They gave away their wares to people from Montore to Tiu’va, in exchange for feed for the Ilk. The desert wilds had grown thin, and could no longer sustain three Ilk, not without outside help.
+>     The giant told Volare that this was their main grazing ground. There were three Ilk, and three Verido siblings, nothing could be more perfect.  
+>     The Ilk were as tall as mountains. They had strong backs and legs, their feet were wide and gave them stability for walking on sand. In terrible storms, they could anchor their toes deep into the ground. They had long slender necks, a thin face with a set of curved horns.  
+>     The siblings spent annums learning about these giant beasts, on how best to approach them, and how to communicate. One day, the Ilk lowered their heads and invited Verido on their backs. Each befriended a different Ilk, and with their permission, built dwellings in the carapace that grew upon their spines.  
+>     Traveling on the back of Ilks ensured both their survival. The Verido were safe from the weather, and kept the Ilk healthy. Many worked at keeping parasites away, inspecting every inch of skin from head to toe for bruises, and tending to them. One annum two Ilk became sick with a rare fungus, but the problem was diagnosed and the fungus eradicated. Verido could build anything using isilk and carapace shavings, materials endemic to the Ilk. Every annum the carapace thickness was measured, and the Verido would only ever harvest it if it had grown enough. Food and drink was harder to come by, but they found shroos, mosses, which contained water, and they found clever ways to harvest it. Overtime, they were able to grow bibiskiss, looberries and looma roots.   
+>     Otora, Balandri and Volare taught their children how to converse with the Ilk. A child from each mapa took on the role of Voice. The Veridos became a race of traveling merchants, craftspeople and inventors. They secured agreements with various cities, carrying provisions from village to village. They gave away their wares to people from Montore to Tiu’va, in exchange for feed for the Ilk. The desert wilds had grown thin, and could no longer sustain three Ilk, not without outside help.
 
                                             ~
 
@@ -2133,15 +2145,15 @@ The previous day, Nono had helped them plan their route to the Rupture on a map,
                                             ~  
 
     Nono had many more rhymes to memorize the signs of incoming bad weather, and how best to respond to them. Lupen remembers them. "When ring around kira, all gone is sawa..." The Verido said aloud to the sand, the stars and the glowing skyrocks, "not today. Today sawa is with us."  
-    Toronka sandfinned through the darkness. The sails were well-balanced, and required little adjusting. Lupen would loosen or tighten the sheets as needed, skin black with pinny tar. It appeared as though the Verido had no arms, like the environment had swallowed them up. Lupen proceeded to making handprints everywhere, with one final print covering this face, which triggered uncontrollable laughter.  
-    Eka awoke a few moments later, and climbed out of the cabin. "Time for sleep Lu!" But saying this, Eka noted that the Verido wasn't in the cockpit. "Lu?" It was dark, but the sky was clear and the skyrock Retna illuminated the entire deck from bow to stern. No Lupen. The Wonder returned inside to search there, but that space too was devoid of Verido. Eka returned outside, eyes locking on the dim horizon line, wondering if maybe Lupen had fallen overboard. "Oh no... Lu!" Eka grabbed lines, ready to turn the sandfin around, but then heard laughing overhead. Lupen was perched at the top of the mast. Eka was relieved, and whistled in Ilken, the sound cutting through the wind. Lupen heard it, and came down, coming to meet Eka on deck.  
+    Toronka sandfinned through the darkness. The sails were well-balanced, and required little adjusting. Lupen would loosen or tighten the sheets as needed, skin black with pinnytar. It appeared as though the Verido had no arms, like the environment had swallowed them up. Lupen proceeded to making handprints everywhere, with one final print covering this face, which triggered uncontrollable laughter.  
+    Eka awoke a few moments later, and climbed out of the cabin. "Time for sleep Lu!" But saying this, Eka noted that the Verido wasn't in the cockpit. "Lu?" It was dark, but the sky was clear and the skyrock Retna illuminated the entire deck from bow to stern. No Lupen. Eka returned inside to search there, but that space too was devoid of Verido. Eka returned outside, eyes locking on the dim horizon line, wondering if maybe Lupen had fallen overboard. "Oh no... Lu!" Eka grabbed lines, ready to turn the sandfin around, but then heard laughing overhead. Lupen was perched at the top of the mast. Eka was relieved, and whistled in Ilken, the sound cutting through the wind. Lupen heard it, and came down, coming to meet Eka on deck.  
     "Beautiful sandfinning, eh?" Lupen said smiling, but then noticed Eka's expression. "What is it?"  
     "Thought you'd fallen off."  
     "Sorry if I scared you. It can't happen though, I've got a tether and everything, *see*? With a good knot too." A line encircled Lupen's middle, and led back to the mast.  
-    Eka's eyes inspected the knot, and could see that it had been tied correctly, then noticed the dark hand print on Lupen's face, "the mark of a true sandfinner," saying this, one of Eka's fingers traced around the print. "You looked at home up there Lu."  
-    Lupen nodded, "Yea. It's like being on a much shorter Ilk, but having more control you know?" The Verido stared at the taut sails, hundreds of hampa strands working together, and thought it beautiful, elegant. "Balandri wanted our people to travel by sandfin. It didn't make sense then, but *now*..."  
-    "Mind's a-whirring!" Eka said, "I'm proud of you, y'know."  
-    Lupen's cheeks reddened, but no one would see the subtle change under the low-light. This Verido leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on Eka's mouth, leaving a pinny-tar lip print behind, then unfastened the rope and tied it around Eka's middle. "I love you. Good sleepings!" Lupen said, before hurrying below in the cabin to sleep.  
+    Eka's eyes inspected the knot, and could see that it had been tied correctly, then noticed the dark handprint on Lupen's face, "the mark of a true sandfinner," saying this, one of Eka's fingers traced around the print. "You looked at home up there Lu."  
+    Lupen nodded, "Yea. It's like being on a much shorter Ilk, but having more control, y'know?" The Verido stared at the taut sails, hundreds of hampa strands working together, and thought it beautiful, elegant. "Balandri wanted our people to travel by sandfin. It didn't make sense then, but *now*..."  
+    "Mind's a-whirring!" Eka said, "I'm proud of you."  
+    Lupen's cheeks reddened, but no one would see the subtle change under the low-light. This Verido leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on Eka's forehead, leaving a pinnytar lip print behind, then unfastened the rope and tied it around Eka's middle. "I love you. Good sleepings!" Lupen said, before hurrying below in the cabin to sleep.  
     Eka smiled, hand lingering on the lip print. "Good sleepings lovely, lovely Lu blue."  
     A voice inside the cabin enumerated the skyrocks above, "Balavados, Encitris, Naxagorus, Liminik, Omoretus, Retna, Alpininsis..." And then this part of the world quieted. Toronka's voice resounded across the desert dunes, the hull creaked and groaned, pushing through sand and leaving a deep track behind. Dorake's pass lay ahead, a three-day sail away. For now, it remained a distant concern for Toronka and crew.
 
@@ -2160,9 +2172,9 @@ The previous day, Nono had helped them plan their route to the Rupture on a map,
 *First sunrise*
 
 Hello Logbook. Dorake's passage is a day away. Our progress is good, but slow. Toronka's sails hang from their ropes, as if asleep. Everything but my mind is still. I am impatient, unaccustomed to being dependent on weather for movement. The Ilk never had to wait for wind.  
-    Earlier, I spotted the top leaves of a cactub off Toronka's stern. Plants like cactubs can survive almost anything, that is, unless they fall prey to a hunter. In calm weather plants emerge to take in moisture and light, but this leaves them vulnerable. Many of the desert perennials I've seen have scars, or have leaves or nubs missing. The desert leaves marks on us all.  
-    I used to think I knew this land well. From up there, the world below looks quiet and barren, but there is so much life down here.  
-    Most creatures live in the topmost layer of the sand dunes, and will only ever show themselves under specific weather conditions, like hespers. Hespers are born every ha'annums, but have very short lives. They're in constant flight, drifting in the breeze. They go where the wind takes them because they don't have limbs, or wings. I think I saw one floating above the mast yesterday. I climbed up to see it, but by the time I made it to the top it had already drifted out of sight.  
+    Earlier, I spotted the top leaves of a cactub off Toronka's stern. Plants like cactubs can survive almost anything, that is, unless they fall prey to a hunter. In calm weather plants emerge to take in moisture and light, but this leaves them vulnerable. Many of the desert perennials I've seen have scars, or have leaves, or nubs missing. The desert leaves marks on us all.  
+    I used to think I knew this land well. From the Ilk's back, the world below looks quiet and barren, but there is so much life down here.  
+    Most creatures live in the topmost layer of the sand dunes, and will only ever show themselves under specific weather conditions, like hespers. Hespers are born every 10 annums, but have very short lives. They're in constant flight, drifting in the breeze. They go where the wind takes them because they don't have limbs, or wings. I think I saw one floating above the mast yesterday. I climbed up to see it, but by the time I made it to the top it had already drifted out of sight.  
     There are reptavians flying around our vessel too, the sound of their leathery wings evident when the wind isn't blowing. I've never been good at identifying reptavians, but Eka can put a name to them straight away. Crested-hirudines. They are quick flyers, with red crests on their heads and bright green scales on their bellies. They always fly in tight groups, sweeping up together, twisting at great speed. I sat on deck a while to enjoy the show, gasping whenever the group narrowingly avoided our mast.  
     In Volare, we had hololomimos. Small, bulgy-eyed reptavians that like to nest in houses. We didn't used to have them, we think they climbed aboard during one of our stops. They like it on the Ilk because there is plenty of shroos to eat, but of course that was a problem because the food supply was limited. No one wants to harm the hololomimos, so we had volunteers looking for nests to move them back on land, but now Verido nests may also have to move onto land, it seems like.  
     Later, Eka & I spotted a group of yellow avians with forked tails. They stared at us, immobile. We stared back. We did this for a while, neither us or the avians wanted to lose the staring contest. But then the group, all at once, scattered into holes in the ground for shelter.  
@@ -2172,8 +2184,8 @@ Hello Logbook. Dorake's passage is a day away. Our progress is good, but slow. T
 
 *Second sunrise*
 
-Every midday, I sweep the sand from the deck, but there is always more of it coming. I clear it anyway. It's become a routine, an activity I've come to enjoy. While I sweep, I look at the deck, I look at the lines, sails and blocks, to make sure all is fine.  
-    When Eka gets up, we eat breakfast together. We still have loaves of muckwheat. I choked on a piece of purple bleen sausage this morning. I dipped it in mapple jam and it was like eating flames. Eka laughed, I wonder what *that* was about...  
+Every midday, I sweep the sand from the deck, but there is always more of it coming. I clear it anyway. It's become a routine, an activity I've come to enjoy. While I sweep, I look at the deck, I look at the lines, sails, and blocks, to make sure all is fine.  
+    When Eka gets up, we eat breakfast together. We still have loaves of muckwheat. I choked on a piece of purple bean sausage this morning. I dipped it in mapple jam and it was like eating flames. Eka laughed, I wonder what *that* was about...  
     When the two suns are up, I hide in the shade and read. I finished reading Volare's letters in The Tale of Three. Most letters are short messages between Volare and Uno, but there are also poems. I like them.  
     Eka is sitting at the bow, staring at far-away mountains. It is a nice day, and I hope it stays that way.  
 
@@ -2222,7 +2234,7 @@ Eka and I took turns shoveling sand from the deck. The wind was still screaming,
 
 Eka is Toronka's time keeper, flipping the sand timer every time it gets empty. The sandstorm makes it difficult to see the position of the two suns, and so with the timer we know how much time has passed. Knowing is both a comfort, and a source of worry.  
     The accumulating sand is beginning to bury us. I don't know how we'll be able to get the anchors out. We went out often on deck today to push the sand off from the bow, but the wind brought more back. I wonder if it would not have been better to run with the weather, but I remember Nono saying that running in heavy winds might result in Toronka rolling sideways, or face first. Few sandfins could recover from such an ordeal. I bet that's how this area got its reputation of being a sandfin graveyard.  
-    Many shovel-fulls later, I still can't eat anything. My whole body is on alert, putting aside regular processes. Hunger doesn't happen under stress, nor is thirst.  
+    Many shovel-fulls later, I still can't eat anything. My whole body is on alert, putting aside regular processes. Hunger doesn't happen under stress, nor does thirst.  
 
 *Second sunset*  
 
@@ -2249,7 +2261,7 @@ The bow is almost free, but we still have to retrieve the two anchors. Toronka h
 We did it. We've cleared the obstructions away, and were able to raise both anchors. Our timing couldn't have been better, because the wind is rising. We are both exhausted though, but sleep will have to come later. I volunteered for the first watch. Eka went below to rest. I can taste sleep in my mouth. Whenever I feel sleep coming I eat a slice of chililly, the sting is enough to keep me awake for a while.  
     The sails are full, we are heading through Dorake's pass under clear skies.  
     While in the pass, I saw masts buried in the sand, broken, splintered. I placed my hand over my chest as Toronka ghosted by them. Our teacher assured us that if we kept our eyes on the horizon, that if we smelled the air, and that if we listened to sawa and the yorala well, we would know that bad weather was coming. 'If sky turn yellow to brown, sandfinner take all sail down.' Nono had said that when you go through Dorake's pass, you make a bet with yourself, that you've understood the signs in the sky, in the clouds and in the air. If you've missed any, then things might not end well for you.  
-Reading the weather is difficult though. The effect of wind on an area depends on topography and on temperature. They interact with one another, and when you think you've understood everything, then a new element is thrown into the mix and new interactions arise. To the sandfinner who doesn't understand this complex network of interactions, this makes nature appear fickle, and mean.  
+    Reading the weather is difficult though. The effect of wind on an area depends on topography and on temperature. They interact with one another, and when you think you've understood everything, then a new element is thrown into the mix and new interactions arise. To the sandfinner who doesn't understand this complex network of interactions, this makes nature appear fickle, and mean.  
     My people are subject to superstition. I am too. I feel good when a series of random actions produces a favorable result. Wiggle your ears while looking at the suns while singing, it makes the wind return. Really, it works. Try it.  
     It is silly. I know it is, and it is laughable that I continue despite knowing this. Sometimes we need rituals. We need to believe that there is someone responsible for the weather, or lack of it, and that we have power over it. Shouting at the desert while becalmed did little to appease my anger. It is just nature being nature, it buries bodies and vessels without prejudice.  
     I thought about the graves, the ones that are not marked by masts. It is possible that we have sandfinned over many of those since our voyage began. If it hadn't been for Uno, I too would be there.  
@@ -2266,15 +2278,15 @@ We made it through the pass in good weather. After Eka and I traded places I sle
 *First sunrise*
 
 The wind is still with us, but we are the only ones out there.
-    We are in the Saa'ta Ash Plains, it is easy to tell because the ground is no longer yellow. The desert is black, inverted. I've never seen anything like it.  
-    I imagined that it would be a scary place, the air thick with dread, but it is pleasant. There is life here too. The area is full of sooty agocets. Small, wispy, elongated creatures that swim in the black sand. We've had many dive aboard, startled by our passing. When they land on deck they twist and shimmy their bodies until they find the edge of the vessel, and fall off again. In doing so, they leave little sooty trails everywhere. We passed through an area that was teeming with them earlier, they exploded out of the ground and covered the deck in black dust. No amount of cleaning could rid the deck of all this soot. Toronka was now a true creature of the Saa'ta Ash Plains, a moving shadow.  
+    We are in the Yora'ta Ash Plains, it is easy to tell because the ground is no longer yellow. The desert is black, inverted. I've never seen anything like it.  
+    I imagined that it would be a scary place, the air thick with dread, but it is pleasant. There is life here too. The area is full of sooty agocets. Small, wispy, elongated creatures that swim in the black sand. We've had many dive aboard, startled by our passing. When they land on deck they twist and shimmy their bodies until they find the edge of the vessel, and fall off again. In doing so, they leave little sooty trails everywhere. We passed through an area that was teeming with them earlier, they exploded out of the ground and covered the deck in black dust. No amount of cleaning could rid the deck of all this soot. Toronka was now a true creature of the Yora'taa Ash Plains, a moving shadow.  
     We also saw larger agocets too, rising out of the sand in the distance. Some measured up to 40 mirits, four times Toronka's length. They would launch themselves up, balancing on their translucent flukes for a moment before diving back into the sand. They stayed far away, uninterested.  
 
 *Second sunrise*  
 
 Hello precious logbook, this is Eka. I thought I would write because Lu is too busy trimming sails and steering Toronka. We've found tracks in the sand, fresh tracks that have not yet been covered with sand. I do not think they belong to Vol, it belongs to some other big thing.  
     The wind is weak, affecting our speed. We were approaching rapidly at first, but this decreasing wind sure has bad timing.  
-    Lu needs me up on deck. We are going to have to work hard to catch up. Good day to you dearest logbook.  
+    Lu needs me up on deck. We are going to have to work hard to catch up. Good day to you, dearest logbook.  
 
 \newpage
 
@@ -2332,10 +2344,10 @@ The Rupture began to widen, and gradually it became difficult to see the other s
     Lupen laughed.  
 
 They sat together on the edge of the Rupture. Eka prepared toasted muckwheat groat tea for everyone. Lupen and Eka had a cup, and Uno had the kettle. The giant didn't carry books, or food, or a tent, and Kit wasn't here either.    
-    In the distance they watched groups of people gathering at various points to witness A Leap. They heard songs in the wind, cheery notes that clung to the air, bouncing off the chasm walls.  
+    In the distance they watched groups of people gathering at various points to witness a Leap. They heard songs in the wind, cheery notes that clung to the air, bouncing off the chasm walls.  
     Lupen was growing quite fond of this place. Sooty agocets would sometimes fly off the edge of the plateau and into the void, disappearing into the darkening dark before emerging back out again. Many came to brush by Uno's large feet, their wispy bodies caressing the toes, and darting away when one of them moved, only to return again later, as if playing a game of dare. The agocets liked playing with Uno's toes, so much that now every digit had a small black dusty cap.
     The people attending a Leaping Day paid them no mind, they were far, and focused on their loved ones. Lupen was certain that they could see Uno from where they were, given the giant's size, but again, their eyes and minds were set on little things today, little things that mattered a whole lot.  
-    Lupen wondered if this is how Uno was able to move unnoticed through this world. Small people were as blind to big things as this Verido had once been blind to the tiny birds and plants on the desert floor. Uno was like the wind, the desert and the clouds, a constant presence that all took for granted, touching everyone and everything.  
+    Lupen wondered if this is how Uno was able to move unnoticed through this world. Small people were as blind to big things as this Verido had once been blind to the tiny avians and plants on the desert floor. Uno was like the wind, the desert and the clouds, a constant presence that all took for granted, touching everyone and everything.  
 
 Uno's tired gaze was fixed on the inscrutable chasm.  
     "Are you going to sleep soon?" Lupen asked.